2014 - More crazy on the way!

So Happy New Year!  To anyone who is actually ever still checking this much neglected blog.  ;-)

Well, I have the best of intentions to blog more often.  I frequently have ideas or start blog posts in my head.  And then never quite get them down before the idea vanishes or my attention is diverted in all the other directions that my life is going these days.

But I do have a few minutes right now, I'm already at the laptop, so I thought I'd share a few of the numerous things going on in our lives these days.

The kids are keeping busy - basketball, soccer, baseball for John, gymnastics for Kara, traveling lots - Disney cruise was back in December (but we are all still enjoying all our memories from that trip!), Richmond in January, Wintergreen (for snowtubing and snowboarding) in February, maybe a weekend away for Matt and I in March (maybe??), OBX for spring break, Maine in July, and who knows where else in between.  Matt will also head to Las Vegas in January for a quick work trip.

We are all getting into new interests - Kara has been surprising us all with her growing enjoyment of reading (SO cool to watch her be excited to sit down and start reading a chapter book!), John is loving his new Kindle (and thus, is reading even MORE than he was, which I didn't think was possible),  Matt's new job is continuing to go well, and I am having a good year with the preschool and getting more and more involved again there, which makes me happy and is keeping me challenged.  We are working on various house projects, planning lots of things to do, and trying to remember that down time is critically important as well.  (Not always successful, but we have had a few snow days recently that have been blissfully relaxing, thankfully.)

Things are constantly in a state of flux around here lately.  I've said to numerous mom-friends lately that I'm trying to get back to "normal" after the holidays, but I'm starting to understand that there really is no such thing as "normal" anymore.  And they all laugh, but then agree that their life feels that way too.  I wonder, does that mean I've turned us into "those parents," who keep so busy, busy, busy and it's too much?  I don't know.  Maybe.  But I know my kids seem happy.  We are getting better about giving Kara her own time when John has his activities and not dragging us all to every single thing that one of us does.  This does seem to be helping us all.

So what can I do to carve out a "normal" piece in our lives?  Maybe it's just as simple as keeping our home as our foundation.  The starting, ending, resting, loving part of our day.  The place that we all can be safe, peaceful, and ourselves every day.  I think this is probably every parent's goal, realized or not.  But I think it's worth reminding ourselves of how important that grounding spot can be, for the kids and for us parents, too.  My home is where I'm happiest, where so many family memories are made, and where I want to wrap my arms around my family when I feel unsure, scared, or sad.  This is definitely my grounding spot and I hope it is for my kids too.

My goal for today - to enjoy the time I have at home with the kids today.  Laugh with them, hug and kiss them, and be present in the moment with them.

Happy Monday everyone!

7

Today is Kara's 7th birthday!  It seems so amazing that 7 years ago she came into our lives and lightened our world.  She amazes me daily and I learn more about myself as she grows.

I am sitting here working on a few tasks, waiting for the time to go pick up some cookies to take into her class for her birthday treat.  Yesterday, while walking home, she practically threw a a fit about me staying while the class sings Happy Birthday to her.  She wanted me to bring the cookies and leave, quickly, quietly, and without embarrassment.  Mind you, up until now, I have purposefully done very little that could be construed as embarrassing.  Her friends and teachers seem to like me pretty much.  I have no idea where this demand came from.  But I stuck to my guns and insisted that if I bring the cookies, I get to stay for the song.  I had to promise not to walk through the school in a clown outfit screaming about her birthday, but after a few tears and some hugs, she agreed that maybe it wouldn't be terrible if I stayed.

After this surprise interaction, I realized that all too quickly, I won't be able to negotiate my way into her daily life.  It won't be long before I am deemed "too uncool" to be part of her world.  I remember spending much of my tween/teen years feeling exactly the same way about my parents.  And I have no doubt that like everything else these days, this will start earlier for Kara than it did for me.  And that makes me sad.

I am hoping that it also will make me value and appreciate every moment that I have with her before I start getting the stiff arm and cold shoulder that is sure to come.  She is a funny, sweet, creative, smart, wonderful girl that I often feel like I am just getting to know.  She's generally not "my easy one" of the two, but she has taught me so much in the last 7 years.  I am eternally grateful that she is in my life and I would
go to the ends of the earth for her.  And to see that beautiful smile.

Happy Birthday to my darling Kara!  I look forward to all the joy, laughter, adventures and smiles that 7 brings to you!

Is Summer Over Yet?

So we have had a very good summer....  But we are all ready for it to be over.  Only school doesn't start for another TWO WEEKS!  Ugh.  I love my kids.  I love being able to spend the days with them.  I love taking them on adventures during the summer and spending days at the pool.  But there are limits.  We are all getting sick of each other.  They have had A LOT of "together" time this summer.  More than in the past.  There have been ups and downs to that.  Truthfully, they've done remarkably well.  They've played together so much, created games, concocted potions, and built so many Lego creations I just can't count.  But we have reached the tipping point...the bickering is increasing, everyone's patience is running out, and our energy for "adventures" is waning.  And we have TWO MORE WEEKS.  Yikes.

I know I am not alone with this phenomenon.  I know many, many other moms/parents who are feeling this same way.  And that helps...a bit.  As we get into the next two weeks, we actually will get busier, and that will help tremendously.  We have trips to the Baltimore Aquarium and the National Zoo planned, a concert at Wolf Trap, a soccer tournament and practices, one more minor league baseball game, a birthday party, and a possible amusement park day planned.  In addition to a doctor's appointment, a couple of other appointments, any shopping/errands that need to happen before school starts, and some around the house cleaning up efforts that I might try to squeeze in to get us "organized" (yeah, right!) before the school year gets going.  Add it all up, and it should make the next two weeks breeze right by.  And then I'll be wondering what happened to the summer, why didn't we get more done, missing my kiddos as they head back to school...and cherishing the calm, peaceful quiet of my empty house.

Maybe that's what I'm craving the most right now.  A few calm moments in my own house, without needing to get anyone else some food/fix something/referee the current altercation/etc., etc., etc.  A few moments to think quietly without interruption.  Maybe read an article, much less a book, in peace.  Sounds heavenly to me.

I do love my children.  VERY much.  But right now, I need them to go back to school.  NOW, not in TWO WEEKS!

The moon and the stars

Many people know that while I absolutely adore my daughter, she has not always been the easiest child to parent.  I love her all the way to the moon and stars and back one hundred million times (one of our bedtime expressions of love).  But she can test every limit of my patience and push me to the brink of parenting disaster in ways that I cannot even describe.  And she's only six years old.

In preschool she had a number of rough patches with behavior issues.  We had tantrums that rivaled anything I'd ever seen.  John had tantrums too at that age, but with the exception of when he had been on a steroid medication, they were all very age appropriate and typical.  No concerns.  But Kara on the other hand....  We coped as best we could.  We managed to get through them.  It wasn't pretty.  But we survived.  Until we weren't managing them as best we could.  And I could feel us all losing ourselves in her tantrums.  It became a problem.  A big problem.  As I've heard therapists say, it was causing a major disruption in our normal lives.  That's the turning point.  That was the point at which we decided to seek help.

First stop, the pediatrician.  By then of course, we already had some ideas of what the issues could be.  Not autism, but other developmental issues, learning issues, ADHD, executive function issues, all kinds of problems were circling in my worried brain.  After a lengthy meeting with the pediatrician, she ordered a full gamut of blood tests, which I was convinced were overkill and not going to give us any answers.  She clearly wasn't sure about it either, but wanted to start there.  She seemed focused on the possibility of the behavior problems being related to Restless Leg Syndrome.  Really?  No. Way.  I was a bit frustrated at her suggestion.  How could my rock star sleeper child be a victim of RLS?  Didn't make sense to me.  At all.

So we moved forward and did the bloodwork.  Which was AWFUL.  Kara screamed.  And thrashed.  And sobbed.  It took three nurses and me to hold her still and the lab tech to draw the blood.  It was horrible.  For her and for me.  But we survived.

And sure enough, the one test that showed an issue was her iron levels, and thus a diagnosis of RLS.  Well, yes, once the results came back it started to make more sense to me.  She is one of the most picky eaters I have ever known.  She eats virtually no vegetables.  We are vegetarian, so she doesn't get a lot of meat.  I avoid iron in their multivitamin as she has always been very prone to constipation.  Yes, I imagine her iron levels would be extremely low!  And they were.  So we started a chewable iron vitamin, four tablets per day.

That was almost a year ago.  My daughter is now almost a completely different child.  She still has the occasional tantrum.  What six year old doesn't?  But she is happy.  She is funny.  She can go along with things that she's not always so happy about without having a major day-stopping meltdown.  She still does require more sleep than her brother, but now we know she's getting good QUALITY sleep.  We went on vacation over spring break with another family for the third year in a row.  After the trip, as I reflected on the week, I realized that she had been the best behaved child on the trip!  I have never been able to say that about her.  Ever.  I was so proud of her.  And so thankful that life has gotten so much better for her.

She is a little ray of sunshine when she is happy.  Her smile can melt my heart and her laugh is positively contagious.  Who knew that iron vitamins could make such a difference for our family and for her?  Not me.  But I thank my lucky stars every day now that we do know.  Because I love her and her smile and her laugh all the way to the moon and the stars a hundred million times.

Giggles

Sometimes at the end of a long day, you just need to laugh.  Or sometimes you just need to hear your children laughing.

This has been kind of a long day for me.  A lot going on.  A lot going on in my brain.  Nothing too heavy, just stuff.  And it's hot.  And I'm tired.  And it's that after-dinner time when things can either go okay around here or they can go terribly bad.  The kids finished dinner, cleared their dishes and ran off to the basement to play.  Absolutely fine with me.  Lovely, in fact.

And as I'm listening to them play, and they are playing happily, I realize how wonderful it is that Kara finds her brother so absolutely hilarious.  No one can make her laugh the way John can.  No one can make her smile the way John can.  She loves me and she loves her daddy, but John is in a different category altogether.  And I love that.

I'm so happy for them that they have each other and that they really do enjoy just hanging out together. Most of the time anyway.  They have reached a great age where they play, hang out, do projects, create things and entertain each other remarkably well.  It's such a gift.  I know they can't see it right now, but every once in awhile, like tonight, I get a glimpse of their relationship and I marvel at the simplicity and the complexity of it.

I hope it never changes.  Even though I know it will.

I hope they at least remember these moments the way I hope to as well.

Choices, so many choices

So I am in the midst of feeling like my life is ready for some change.  We have a whole lot of activities and events coming up, so I'm not sure right now is when I can make much happen for myself in terms of change.  For now I'm really just hoping to get back on track with my diet and exercise habits.  That will be a good start.

But I feel like I'm ready for a bigger change.  Maybe I'm looking for a career opportunity.  Maybe I just need to feel like I'm gearing up for a career opportunity.  I do think I really need to find something that rewards and challenges me, that is mine alone, and doesn't involve the kids.  I'm just not sure what that might be right now.

Maybe I could become a math teacher?  Maybe I could become an editor?  Maybe I could go back to working at a rec center?  Maybe I could work at a preschool?  Maybe I could look for a staff position at a local school?  Maybe I could become a school counselor?  Maybe I could find some outlet involving writing?  Maybe I could work in my love of cooking, yoga, or pets?  Options are endless, and often overwhelming.

In the past when I've been faced with these sorts of overwhelming choices, I'm not sure I've made the best choices for myself.  Thus adding extra pressure to my situation now.  I feel like I'm at a bit of a crossroads to the next phase of my life and I've got no idea which direction to go or how on earth to get there.  Add in the requirements that I have for a career - supreme flexibility due to the kids, accommodating our crazy schedule, and understanding that I have been out of the workforce for almost 10 years.  Umm, yeah.  Good luck with that.

I am feeling more and more like the time is coming for me to pick a path and make some changes.  I just don't quite see the path ahead very clearly yet.  I'm hoping it will become clearer soon, as it is weighing heavily on me lately.  Increasing the blog posts has helped, so hopefully I will continue to use this as a release.  I hope you don't mind.  :-)

Spring?

Well, it's Monday morning.  The first day of Spring, my very favorite season.  Sort of surprising, given how the pollen reeks major havoc on my body, but I just can't help but love the season anyway.  Sun, green, watching all the flowers start to poke their unsuspecting little leaves out, new sports seasons, and looking forward to the relaxing pace of summer.  But lo and behold, today, the first day of Spring, we have a bit of snow!  Huh?  Yup.  Not much.  Enough to be pretty, coat the cars and require the ice scraper come out one last time (yes, of course, I pushed it to the very back depths of the closet just last week...grrr).  It seems like a bit of a last teaser of snow.  Thanks Winter, as if you didn't spend the entire season teasing us with snow.  Again.

Granted, three years ago we got totally clobbered with snow.  Over.  And over.  And over.  It was a monstrous snow season.  We kept telling the kids that they may never see that much snow again in this area.  It was crazy.  And then each winter since then, we've gotten a mere pittance of the white stuff.  And this year has been no different.  When we finally got a forecast a few weeks ago for a major incoming storm, you could feel the anticipation in the air.  Finally!  We were going to have a good 12" of snow!  Yippee!  And no dice.  The temperatures stayed just a bit too warm, so what we got was a big sloshy, wet, mess.  Not much fun.  For anyone.

I'm hopeful that today's snow will be the end for this snow season.  I'm ready to move forward.  Start Spring already!  John's soccer team played in a pre-season tournament this weekend and his baseball team has their first team meeting tonight.  We leave for our annual spring break trip to the Outer Banks in just a few days.  It would be nice if Mother Nature could follow along with all of these other signs of spring.  And I know it will eventually.  Just not on my timeline.  That would just be too convenient.

So for today, I'm going to enjoy the beauty of the bushes and grass covered in this (hopefully) last dusting of snow.  I'm going to be thankful that the roads are fine and schools weren't even delayed.  We can go about our day as normal and appreciate the sights along our way.

As long as it starts to act like Spring sometime soon!

Ah ha!

Some days I feel like I'm just slogging through my hectic day, checking things off the to do list, running errands, and generally completing the necessary tasks that must be done to keep our life rolling along smoothly (or as smoothly as humanly possible anyway).  Actually, maybe that is most days.  If I'm lucky, I get in a conversation with a friend, which always makes the day a bit better.  Keeps me grounded.  And often reminds me why doing all those things each day is important.

Today, I spoke for just a few minutes to a dear friend that I have known for 20 years and don't talk to nearly enough these days.  We are both stay-at-home moms, which we thought would be great - we'll see each other all the time!  Right?  Nope.  We live only about 20 minutes apart, but life is just too crazy. My kids are a bit older than hers, so we're just both slogging through our different routines most of the time.

Anyway, today I got to have a brief chat with her.  And it made my heart feel good to reach out and talk to her, even if it was only for about 10 minutes.  I miss talking to her more frequently, but it makes me smile every time.  We were talking, as we mostly do, about the kids and some of the cute/fun/challenging things going on in their lives these days.

After we got off the phone, I smiled and had an Ah Ha! moment.  Because her children are a bit younger than mine, she has frequently had a variety of parenting questions for me, as much of what she may be struggling with I have already been through and we all know how much we value the advice of our mom friends when it comes to getting over tough hurdles.  And I am always happy to discuss/advise/encourage/support/listen/and much, much more.  Anything I can do to help!  Always!

But today somewhere in my brain went "Oh goodness, this situation is so unlike anything we experienced as parents.  It is so truly amazing how different each child is.  And how important it is to recognize that as each child is different, our parenting style with each child must change as well!"

It is easy when you have more than one child to feel like the approach or strategy that worked for the oldest should clearly work for the subsequent one(s), right?  Nope.  More often than not, it won't work. Sometimes it only takes a minor modification.  If you're lucky.  Other times it really takes an entirely different approach.  I know this is OFTEN true for my two children.  And I OFTEN forget it.  And then I get frustrated when it doesn't work and things disintegrate into chaos.

But it isn't always easy to have different approaches for the different children in a family either!  One of the frequent complaints from any child (frequently it's my oldest) is "that's not FAIR!"  Well, years ago I read in a parenting article the best response to this comment that I've heard and thus use regularly - "FAIR is not always EQUAL."

In an ideal world it would be, but that is definitely not the world I live in and not the world of child rearing as I know it.  But sometimes the different approaches work together and we can all live with the un-equalness of it if the result is positive.  I think my girlfriend does a better job with her girls of maintaining the flexibility to parent this way than I do.  Her daughters are VERY different in many ways and she is an amazing mother to both of their personalities.  Maybe it's her teacher background - she can manage a classroom full of different student personalities, and know how best to engage them to be the best students they can be.

Whatever the reason, her flexibility and acceptance of her daughters' differences really struck a chord with me today.  I hope she can inspire me to be the best parent I can be for each of my own children as they learn and grow in their own funny, quirky, artistic, creative, crazy ways.

Parenting is such a journey!  Not always a smooth one (in fact, almost never), but a wonderful journey nonetheless.

Hoping to Be Inspired

So, yes, I do realize that it's been months, AGAIN, since my last post.  But it truly doesn't mean that I don't intend to post.  In fact, usually several times a week I do think about a possible item to post or even tell myself that I really need to get back to posting more often.  It just means I'm busy.  Or lazy.  Or both.  Or when I'm not busy being busy, I'm allowing myself a bit of lazy time.  Which I guess is good too.

Today my sister-in-law announced that she is starting a blog.  She's a professor of computer science at Georgia Tech and mother of two girls, so she puts my level of "busy" to shame.  She posted today about why she wanted to start her blog and the type of information she hopes to share.  I was inspired by her start today and thought, why I should get a post of my own going today as well.  No time like the present.

So, I guess first I should update you (by the way, is anyone even still out there reading this thing??) on where life has taken us.  John is in 3rd grade, doing famously, playing travel soccer, basketball and baseball, participating in a Lego team, playing violin and recorder at school and enjoying life as only an extremely goofy 9-year old boy can.  Kara is in kindergarten and finally is enjoying it (she had a bit of a bumpy start to the year) and making some new friends, which is wonderful.  She does gymnastics and is blooming into a very sweet, funny, and beautiful young girl.  Matt is about to change jobs and take on a new challenge, which is a great step for him to take professionally.

And me?  Well, I'm here trying to keep everyone on track.  Keep all the juggling balls that our family keeps throwing into the air, well, up in the air.  It's a very tough thing to do.  I wasn't quite sure what this year would be like for me, with both kids finally in school full-day.  Would I be lonely?  Bored?  Anxious?  Look for a job?  Feel guilty for not already being back at work?  I certainly didn't expect to be as busy as I have found myself.  Turns out that with our evenings busy running here and there to various activities, my days are really spent getting everything done so that after school we can go, go, go.  There is still a little bit of loneliness, guilt, and anxiety that comes with staying at home even after the kids go to school.  But for now, I am trying to enjoy this time.  Take some time to work on some of the projects around the house that I've been putting off for almost 9 years...or so I say (not too many of those projects have happened yet, but it's a nice thought!).

I'm also trying to figure out what MY next step in life will be.  Personally and professionally.  I have some time now to be thoughtful about what I would like to be doing with my time and how to make that happen.  Who knows where this road will take me.  So far, I haven't been able to make much headway in thinking about the future.  Maybe this blog will help me focus those thoughts.  Maybe I'll find my inspiration here.

For now, for the first step, I'm going to pledge to post more often.  Let's see if I can manage to get another post done in the next week.  Baby steps.  I don't know where I'm heading, but I hope I can share some of it with you.

Chapters

So today a chapter (a FIVE year chapter) is closing in our lives.  It's been a really wonderful chapter with lots of special characters, twists and turns, challenges and successes.  But today the last piece of this chapter is being written and then it will be over.

Today is Kara's last day of preschool at Hunters Woods Preschool.  John started there five years ago, when he was 3 1/2 and Kara was just shy of her first birthday.  Seems like a lifetime ago now.  We've all grown, learned, changed, developed, cried, smiled, laughed and cheered since then.  The kids and us as parents as well.  And while I can't say I loved EVERY minute of it, I can say that I loved most of it and that I wouldn't change it at all.  It's all gone into making us who we are today and gearing us all up for the crazy, wonderful road ahead.

Kara has been at this preschool for three years and has had the fortune to have her playgroup (which also began the same fall that John started at HWPS) with her in class for the last two years, in addition to several other close friends in the class.  Of course that did lead to some drama, some interesting moments, and some frustration, but in the end it was a special experience for her.  She has formed bonds with friends, has outgrown much of her shyness, has done things I never would have expected.  She is an amazing girl, and is so ready for the next chapter in her life.

We've had the joy of having amazing classroom teachers, the preschool is led by a founding member and also fabulous woman, and we have made so many close family friends during our time at HWPS.  It has been so much more than a preschool for us.  It's been our support, our comfort, our guide, and our joy.  This five year journey has been challenging, of course, but we have survived it.  No, survived isn't quite right...thrived, excelled, climbed, and most importantly succeeded in becoming "kindergarten ready" (whatever the heck that term is supposed to mean) and also in becoming better parents and a stronger family in the process.

I keep finding myself saying "thank you" to the teachers, to the kids and to the families of the preschool.  But those words don't feel like enough to show the depths of which I feel thankful.  This chapter may be closing, but it will never be forgotten.  Its impact will be the foundation with which we go forward into the next chapter.  I have loved this chapter and I know I will also love the next chapter, but today, here, now...I'm cherishing the last few moments this chapter has for us.

Thank you Hunters Woods Preschool......

Whoosh!

So today is the last morning of preschool for Kara for this year. Did you hear that whooshing sound? For me, that's the sound of this school year blowing by me in record speed and leaving me feeling a bit windblown and battered. It's been a year of lots of ups and downs and many, many bumps. I must admit that I'm glad to have it over (at least for Kara and soon enough for John too) and am ready for the adventures this summer will bring for us.

Let's do a quick review of the last year: kitchen renovation, summer vacation and lots of time at the pool, 1st grade for John and year 2 of preschool for Kara, fall soccer and finally losing a tooth for John, MAJOR flood in the basement and kitchen leading to all kinds of hurdles and problems and stress for us all, allergy/reflux issues for John and just allergy issues for me and Kara, the unexpected passing of my dear Aunt Martha just a few months after she had retired, Matt's appendicitis surgery and recovery, another flood in the basement (much less dramatic this time, but still water in the basement - not fun), a great spring break trip to Nags Head, NC, me becoming president of the preschool board for next year, and many plans ahead for a fun and adventure filled summer.

This summer will bring: a third trip to Lancaster, PA to go to Dutch Wonderland (a kids' theme park that is fabulous), more wonderful veggies from our CSA, finishing up John's baseball season, finishing up repairs on the basement, yet another renovation project (this time the kids' full bathroom, which needs to be fully gutted and replaced - what fun...), a road trip to Maine to attend a celebratory party in honor of my Aunt, closely followed by a road trip south to Topsail Island, NC for our annual beach week, then football, tennis, sports and arts camps for John, and lots of time at our neighborhood pool with friends, before the school year begins and John will go into 2nd grade (how on earth did that happen so soon??) and Kara will start her final year at our preschool (oh my baby!).

Are you tired yet? I am....I know for sure by the end of this summer I will feel pretty windblown and battered too, but I am looking forward to having less unexpected bumps along the way, less stress, and way more fun.

It's been a tough year for us and for our family for sure. But it has also brought me a new respect for my support network. I have been forced to ask for help more times in the last year than ever before. And for those of you that know me, that does NOT come easily for me. I am always willing to help out my friends and family, but I have a very hard time asking for help myself. But everyone I have asked has been very willing and very supportive and wonderful to us. We have gotten through this year in large part due to the love and energy of those around us. It hasn't been pretty and it hasn't been easy, but I am hoping we have survived, learned a few lessons, and will find the road ahead just a little smoother than the road behind us.

Well, I'll keep my fingers crossed for that. I certainly won't hold my breath for it though. ;-)

An Update

So yet again, time seems to pass too quickly for me to take the few moments to sit down and type out a post about one of the many many things that I think each day would make a great blog post. To my defense, life has been very very busy and exhausting lately. I'm continually hopeful it will slow down, but as usual, the pace only seems to gradually be picking up. I've got no idea how parents with four or five or more older kids keep up with all that must be on their schedules. I'm having trouble keeping up with two and one is still in preschool!

One of my recent, and on-going, adventures involves the preschool we attend. This year I am serving as the admissions officer and have been spending a lot of time on the phone and at the school answering questions, giving tours, and basically being a full-time cheerleader for the preschool. Which I love doing. It's been a lot of fun to meet new families and convince them as to why the school would be a great fit for them. We had our open house last week, which is when we open up registration to new families for next year. I had been hoping that my role would slow down after that night, but no such luck! Now we get to follow up with everyone who has applied and start the paperwork process required to get all the kids enrolled for next year. Oh, what fun! It is truly fun and I have enjoyed it, but it has taken up more time than I had expected.

The kids have also been busy bees. Swimming, gymnastics, playdates, and various princess parties have overtaken Kara's quite busy social calendar, in addition to her 3 mornings of preschool each week. John is keeping busy with schoolwork, sports activities, ice skating, losing teeth, and dressing up as Thing 1 for Dr. Seuss's birthday last week. He's reading like crazy and has recently started getting an allowance. We'll see if the money goes towards a sports item or a new book. He's also continuing to challenge himself with new math skills. They're both growing like weeds and already are looking forward to all kinds of adventures this summer.

With the warmer weather we've started getting out and about. Seeing neighbors emerging after the super-cold winter we've had is nothing short of wonderful. All the kids have grown, lost teeth, gotten a new baby sibling, or had other adventures they're dying to share with each other. It's a fun time of year and we're so ready to embrace it.

Speaking of which, I think it's time for me to get to the bus stop! Hopefully I'll post again soon...but if I don't, you can probably find me at the playground instead. ;-)

New Year, New......Hmmmm.....

So far the new year has only brought me congestion, achiness, and most recently, a LOVELY cough that I'm becoming convinced is not likely to leave my body much before February. It's been a GRAND start to the new year. Not.


Fortunately, through the fog of sickness, I truly can see that the year ahead holds promise. We're finally getting to the end stages of the flood recovery process. We're still purging, donating, organizing, and packing away our things that were uncovered during the flood and the reconstruction. But it is coming to an end. The basement looks better than ever. There is a new couch, a new tv (albeit still in the box), a lot of new plastic storage bins, new shelving in the laundry room, and A LOT less stuff overall. We're getting there. The process has been long and painful, but we know in the end it will be worth it. And now we can finally see the end in sight. I can't tell you how good that feels.


The end of 2010 could not have come sooner for us. For although the year had many high points, we also endured a lot of challenges for us and for those around us. It seemed like every high was immediately followed by a new bump/diversion/illness/whatever that made it impossible to stop and enjoy the high point. We're hoping that 2011 holds more calm moments (although with the 4 and 7 year olds around, it's not likely to be all that calm), more healthy moments (again, a challenge with young ones around), and more enjoyable moments for us and for all those we love and care about.

For now I'm holding that hope and holding on to it with all my might. I know there will be challenges and bumps in 2011, and we will meet them head-on and hopefully get past them with minimal disruption. That is my hope for us and for all of you in the new year.

Bang, Bang, and More Banging....

For those of you who haven't heard about our fall adventures, let me update you by saying that currently I'm sitting up in my bedroom, surrounded by piles of boxes, toy bins, books, coats, bags, and all kinds of stuff. My room looks like one of those hoarding shows. Truly. There is VERY loud banging coming from downstairs as I pray that our new kitchen isn't getting damaged as the wood floors are getting ripped out in the kitchen and dining room. On October 5th (a date I believe I will remember forever), we had a flood in our new kitchen. The water only ran for 2 hours, but it caused a nightmare of disaster for us. The basement was pretty much destroyed, along with many of our things that were in the basement. The wood floors in the dining room and kitchen were determined to be damaged enough to require replacement as well. It's now December 1st and we're still working on the renovations. The new wood floors go in today and the basement carpet goes in later this week. Then only a few minor things need to be finished up and we'll be done with the contractor's portion of the work. Then comes the "fun" of putting our house and lives back together.

Currently there's dust and boxes everywhere in the house. I get overwhelmed by even looking around at our lives. It's depressing. I have friends who are going through much worse situations than this, and I try very hard to find things to be thankful for, and I know it could be a lot worse for us too. I try not to complain, but find myself venting to anyone who will listen. I'm sorry to all my family and friends for being a real "downer" right now. I'm trying to keep some kind of normalcy for the kids, but they're beginning to see through the facade and are getting as cranky as I am about the insanity that is our home.

Home. That's a word that inspires comfortable, loving, happy feelings. I guess my problem stems from the fact that our home hasn't been any of those things for almost 2 months (not to mention the 2 months of kitchen construction we just went through this summer), and I don't know when it will feel like that again. I am quickly reaching the point of darkness where I don't even know where to start trying to put our life together so that we can feel like this is our home. I want not just my house back, but I want my HOME back. I want to feel good walking into my house and have it make me happy. Right now I'm happiest elsewhere, anywhere, just not here. Here makes me sad, overwhelmed, and downright depressed.

I know that although there is a LOT of work ahead for us to reassemble the house, once it is done it will be great and we will have a lot of new family space for us to enjoy and use as a family. I am trying to see that light at the end of the tunnel. But staying focused on that light is very challenging at best, and is easier on some days than others. Today feels like a hard day. Maybe tomorrow will be a better day. One can only hope.

Thankful

I spent this morning at Kara's preschool, being a Helping Parent in the classroom. These days that I get to spend with a room full of preschoolers are always exhausting, but also always so rewarding. I appreciate that I get to know my children's friends. I get to see them interact. I get to see them grow, learn, and change as the year goes on. I also get to know the families connected to these children. I have made wonderful and dear friends through our preschool. My children have made strong friendships themselves from preschool classmates. And now in Kara's class this year, her playgroup friends are all together in the class. This playgroup has been going for three years now, longer than any other group we've been involved with. There are five girls, five moms, and five (about to be six) older and younger siblings connected with the group.

After preschool today we had the playgroup girls over for lunch and a birthday celebration for Kara's 4th birthday. It was a very casual, low-key party, I almost wouldn't call it a party, more like just a playdate. But I had so much fun watching the girls, chatting with the moms, and enjoying the fact that we have all established friendships that will last for many years into the future. I value this group and these bonds so much.

I said to a neighbor this morning who is very sick and will be undergoing cancer treatment in the near future, that it truly does take a village. We bond together as moms, parents, neighbors, and friends to help each other in so many ways and for so many different reasons. Then this afternoon I was reminded how strong my village is. I am very very thankful for all the members of my village and couldn't imagine our lives without them. And sometimes it's a really good thing to be reminded of that.

So many changes...

Tis the season of change, I guess. The leaves start turning beautiful fall colors. The kids go back to school. The season of vacations comes to an end. Fall activities start getting going - sports, camping trips, and much more. I generally like change and can roll right through a fair amount of change without much thought. This season has thrown me for a loop and I don't feel like I'm ready for all the changes that have been coming our way.

The change in the house - the kitchen project (which yes, I know, I still need to post final pictures of) is mostly complete at this point. I do catch myself every now and then going, oh my gosh, we really did this to our kitchen! Wow. It's a BIG change in our house and how we function as a family. We do love it, but it's definitely a life changer.

The change in routines - school, soccer, swimming, gymnastics, squeezing in some exercise, maybe some yoga too, volunteer commitments, and back to a few evening meetings as well. It's all good and in many ways, the kids and I were really ready to get back to having some regular routines in our lives. It's just now that it's all getting going, I'm having a hard time catching my breath in between activities, much less taking a few minutes here and there to plan for the upcoming bigger things on the calendar - Kara's birthday for example, and our trip to Maine in October. I obviously haven't figured out how to squeeze in that downtime for me that I need so badly...maybe once preschool is truly in full swing and I start getting my three mornings a week of peace?

There's been a number of changes in the lives of those around us. I recently had a childhood friend's husband pass away from a battle with leukemia. He was 37 years old and left his wife and two young children behind. I haven't kept in touch with her over the years as well as either one of us would have liked to, but I'm hoping this change in their lives will bring a change in that too. It's a very sad situation, although my friend seems to be dealing with it as well as can be expected. Over the past several weeks I've heard about a number of people dealing with or dying of battles with cancer. It's all downright depressing. But it has resulted in a change in my life too, an appreciation of each day and each moment we have with those around us. My friend's husband, Russ French, was an amazing man, friend and father and inspired many around him over the years. He lived a good full life and I want to aspire to be more thankful and respectful of all that is good in my life. Yet another change.

Then, of course, there is the change of season. Fall brings beautiful colors of changing leaves, of the rich-colored mums on front stairs, and yummy smells of apple cider simmering on the stovetop. Camping trips, fall farm visits, and football are also things we enjoy this time of year. Kara's birthday will come up quickly, then Halloween, and before I know it, Thanksgiving, which I will be hosting this year. I do enjoy the change of weather that comes along with the season as well. This summer was filled with hot hot days at the pool, which certainly was fun, but I could do without quite so much heat. The cooler weather leads to wearing jeans and sweaters as the breeze blows a bit more, and this I just love.

So in this season of change I am also very thankful for all these changes in our lives. Most of them are positive changes and we're ready to continue to roll through them. Maybe I just need to sit down, blog about them a bit, put it all into perspective more often, and that will help my brain wrap itself around all the craziness in my life. The changes come no matter whether we're ready for them or not. It's how we face the change and embrace it that counts.

Final Weeks of Summer

So we're already into the final four weeks of summer. I can't believe it's gone so fast, and at the same time we have four potentially LONG weeks ahead of us. John's in a half-day camp this week, Kara's in a short morning camp next week, and then it's just a lot of together time for the duration. I'm hoping for warm days and lots of pool visits paired with a few bigger outings that will keep the appropriate balance of exhaustion and interest going to minimize the bickering that will ensue if I let boredom set in. Can you tell I'm a little apprehensive about this? I'm trying my best to be optimistic, but I'm not the type of mom who can go, go, go and keep up the energy and manage everything else too. I can handle a fair number of activities, but only if it comes paired with some downtime too. I'm hoping we can manage without too much yelling (me), screaming (them), hitting (them), and time outs (everyone). That's my goal. I know, it's lofty, but we're going to try. I'm going to do my best to be the mom with lots of ideas, some active and some relaxing and even a few productive things squeezed in for good measure. We'll see how it goes.

I'm also hoping to squeeze in a few posts here and there and finally get around to posting pictures of the final kitchen project. It is done at this point and we are loving it! What a difference it has made in our house and in our lives. It will continue to develop as we continue to grow into the space and figure out how to maximize our enjoyment of it. Sometimes hard work does pay off and it's fun to enjoy the grown-up pleasures that we've been looking forward to.

Stay cool...and look for more posts soon!

Wow, life has changed...

Well, as I sit here typing this, there are electricians upstairs working away at the wiring for our new kitchen. The walls are gone, support beams have been moved, new appliances are ready and waiting, and life has gotten crazy. The process has started and each day we get a stronger vision of the final result. We are going to love it. The interim is a bit messy, to say the least. The fridge is in the dining room. The toaster oven and microwave is in the basement. The sink is either in the bathroom upstairs or the laundry room in the basement. Things are everywhere and it's not easy to put a meal together. Everyone is being reasonably patient so far, but we'll see how long that lasts as the time goes on. It has been over a week without the old stove and not quite a week yet without the kitchen sink. We're adapting as best we can, but it certainly isn't easy or convenient. But it is definitely wild to watch it happening each step of the way.

I'll try to be better about posting through this time and posting a picture or two for those few readers I have left that aren't on Facebook. ;-)

For now this is what we have.....

Thankful Thursday Again

I've been filled with great blogging intentions, but yet again seem to fail in the process of getting my thoughts out while in front of the computer. But that's not the point of today's post. I realized that it's Thursday and some time ago I got into doing a "Thankful Thursday" post and thought I would do a quick list this morning....

Today I am thankful for:
1. the still sleeping kids upstairs (yesterday was an over-tired doozy of a day, so hopefully some additional sleep will improve everyone's mood this morning)
2. the means and ability to plan the approaching kitchen renovation
3. the energy to get through the coming days
4. the plans that we have to go camping this weekend - we haven't been out camping in over a year and a half and I'm getting excited - although there's A LOT of work to do to get us there, but it will be all good in the end.
5. great neighbors and friends that I can totally rely on again and again and know that it's okay because I will support them over and over too
6. my dear husband
7. all the mother's in my life who help remind me that I'm not as crazy as I often feel
8. an amazing preschool family, which I am so excited for next year as Kara will have her entire playgroup in her class - yay! It's going to be so much fun for them and me!
9. the grapefruit half that's waiting in the fridge for me for breakfast this morning
10. the coffee in my cup and the coffee I'll get later this morning while I'm waiting for the van inspection

Thanks for reading!

An apology

So I feel like I would be remiss tonight if I didn't first apologize to Kara's preschool teacher, Mrs. Kelleher. Not that she'll read this tonight, tomorrow, or ever, for that matter, but I do owe her a huge apology. Tomorrow my daughter is going to be a complete bear. My crystal fortune telling ball is a bit fuzzy, so I'm not sure when the evil side will present itself. No doubt it will reveal itself at some completely inopportune moment, and likely she'll be an angel tomorrow during school, but the ugliness will come and I hope our lovely teacher, who I adore, isn't the recipient of the nastiness. I'm convinced I will be battered and bruised by the end of the day tomorrow.

Today started poorly for my dear Kara. After a tantrum of her own, I lost my temper with her, resulting in a very ugly interaction between us, all before we even left for the bus stop! We had a decent morning, followed by a playdate for her and John, then a late nap, and then several more tantrums during a very long and painful bedtime process. As Matt and John were trying to watch the Caps playoff game tonight, she kept repeating how she wanted her mittens. Over and over and over and over... No limit of explanation that it was April, not mitten weather, if she's cold she could use a blanket, etc, etc, etc. was good enough for her. She needed her damn mittens. Then, later, she insisted on having socks to sleep in. I gave her instructions for how to get her socks (by first brushing her teeth), and after much misery and non-compliance, I told her she was done, had lost her chance, and then the bawling really began. She just couldn't get it. There was lots of crying and screaming.

So it was a late, long night for my dear daughter. She's going to be tired tomorrow. There's preschool in the morning, then lunch and nap/quiet time, then playtime, early dinner, and t-ball practice right up until the kids' bedtime. It could be a busy, good day or it could be a long, painful day for us all. We'll see how it goes. But I figure it's a good idea to get my apology out ahead of the ugliness. It's one thing to have your kid take out their anger/frustration on you, but it's another thing entirely for them to take it out on the schoolmates or teacher.

I'm really sorry Mrs. Kelleher. I'm trying, really hard. But in the end, I'm just really sorry.