The moon and the stars

Many people know that while I absolutely adore my daughter, she has not always been the easiest child to parent.  I love her all the way to the moon and stars and back one hundred million times (one of our bedtime expressions of love).  But she can test every limit of my patience and push me to the brink of parenting disaster in ways that I cannot even describe.  And she's only six years old.

In preschool she had a number of rough patches with behavior issues.  We had tantrums that rivaled anything I'd ever seen.  John had tantrums too at that age, but with the exception of when he had been on a steroid medication, they were all very age appropriate and typical.  No concerns.  But Kara on the other hand....  We coped as best we could.  We managed to get through them.  It wasn't pretty.  But we survived.  Until we weren't managing them as best we could.  And I could feel us all losing ourselves in her tantrums.  It became a problem.  A big problem.  As I've heard therapists say, it was causing a major disruption in our normal lives.  That's the turning point.  That was the point at which we decided to seek help.

First stop, the pediatrician.  By then of course, we already had some ideas of what the issues could be.  Not autism, but other developmental issues, learning issues, ADHD, executive function issues, all kinds of problems were circling in my worried brain.  After a lengthy meeting with the pediatrician, she ordered a full gamut of blood tests, which I was convinced were overkill and not going to give us any answers.  She clearly wasn't sure about it either, but wanted to start there.  She seemed focused on the possibility of the behavior problems being related to Restless Leg Syndrome.  Really?  No. Way.  I was a bit frustrated at her suggestion.  How could my rock star sleeper child be a victim of RLS?  Didn't make sense to me.  At all.

So we moved forward and did the bloodwork.  Which was AWFUL.  Kara screamed.  And thrashed.  And sobbed.  It took three nurses and me to hold her still and the lab tech to draw the blood.  It was horrible.  For her and for me.  But we survived.

And sure enough, the one test that showed an issue was her iron levels, and thus a diagnosis of RLS.  Well, yes, once the results came back it started to make more sense to me.  She is one of the most picky eaters I have ever known.  She eats virtually no vegetables.  We are vegetarian, so she doesn't get a lot of meat.  I avoid iron in their multivitamin as she has always been very prone to constipation.  Yes, I imagine her iron levels would be extremely low!  And they were.  So we started a chewable iron vitamin, four tablets per day.

That was almost a year ago.  My daughter is now almost a completely different child.  She still has the occasional tantrum.  What six year old doesn't?  But she is happy.  She is funny.  She can go along with things that she's not always so happy about without having a major day-stopping meltdown.  She still does require more sleep than her brother, but now we know she's getting good QUALITY sleep.  We went on vacation over spring break with another family for the third year in a row.  After the trip, as I reflected on the week, I realized that she had been the best behaved child on the trip!  I have never been able to say that about her.  Ever.  I was so proud of her.  And so thankful that life has gotten so much better for her.

She is a little ray of sunshine when she is happy.  Her smile can melt my heart and her laugh is positively contagious.  Who knew that iron vitamins could make such a difference for our family and for her?  Not me.  But I thank my lucky stars every day now that we do know.  Because I love her and her smile and her laugh all the way to the moon and the stars a hundred million times.

Whoosh!

So today is the last morning of preschool for Kara for this year. Did you hear that whooshing sound? For me, that's the sound of this school year blowing by me in record speed and leaving me feeling a bit windblown and battered. It's been a year of lots of ups and downs and many, many bumps. I must admit that I'm glad to have it over (at least for Kara and soon enough for John too) and am ready for the adventures this summer will bring for us.

Let's do a quick review of the last year: kitchen renovation, summer vacation and lots of time at the pool, 1st grade for John and year 2 of preschool for Kara, fall soccer and finally losing a tooth for John, MAJOR flood in the basement and kitchen leading to all kinds of hurdles and problems and stress for us all, allergy/reflux issues for John and just allergy issues for me and Kara, the unexpected passing of my dear Aunt Martha just a few months after she had retired, Matt's appendicitis surgery and recovery, another flood in the basement (much less dramatic this time, but still water in the basement - not fun), a great spring break trip to Nags Head, NC, me becoming president of the preschool board for next year, and many plans ahead for a fun and adventure filled summer.

This summer will bring: a third trip to Lancaster, PA to go to Dutch Wonderland (a kids' theme park that is fabulous), more wonderful veggies from our CSA, finishing up John's baseball season, finishing up repairs on the basement, yet another renovation project (this time the kids' full bathroom, which needs to be fully gutted and replaced - what fun...), a road trip to Maine to attend a celebratory party in honor of my Aunt, closely followed by a road trip south to Topsail Island, NC for our annual beach week, then football, tennis, sports and arts camps for John, and lots of time at our neighborhood pool with friends, before the school year begins and John will go into 2nd grade (how on earth did that happen so soon??) and Kara will start her final year at our preschool (oh my baby!).

Are you tired yet? I am....I know for sure by the end of this summer I will feel pretty windblown and battered too, but I am looking forward to having less unexpected bumps along the way, less stress, and way more fun.

It's been a tough year for us and for our family for sure. But it has also brought me a new respect for my support network. I have been forced to ask for help more times in the last year than ever before. And for those of you that know me, that does NOT come easily for me. I am always willing to help out my friends and family, but I have a very hard time asking for help myself. But everyone I have asked has been very willing and very supportive and wonderful to us. We have gotten through this year in large part due to the love and energy of those around us. It hasn't been pretty and it hasn't been easy, but I am hoping we have survived, learned a few lessons, and will find the road ahead just a little smoother than the road behind us.

Well, I'll keep my fingers crossed for that. I certainly won't hold my breath for it though. ;-)

Thankful

I spent this morning at Kara's preschool, being a Helping Parent in the classroom. These days that I get to spend with a room full of preschoolers are always exhausting, but also always so rewarding. I appreciate that I get to know my children's friends. I get to see them interact. I get to see them grow, learn, and change as the year goes on. I also get to know the families connected to these children. I have made wonderful and dear friends through our preschool. My children have made strong friendships themselves from preschool classmates. And now in Kara's class this year, her playgroup friends are all together in the class. This playgroup has been going for three years now, longer than any other group we've been involved with. There are five girls, five moms, and five (about to be six) older and younger siblings connected with the group.

After preschool today we had the playgroup girls over for lunch and a birthday celebration for Kara's 4th birthday. It was a very casual, low-key party, I almost wouldn't call it a party, more like just a playdate. But I had so much fun watching the girls, chatting with the moms, and enjoying the fact that we have all established friendships that will last for many years into the future. I value this group and these bonds so much.

I said to a neighbor this morning who is very sick and will be undergoing cancer treatment in the near future, that it truly does take a village. We bond together as moms, parents, neighbors, and friends to help each other in so many ways and for so many different reasons. Then this afternoon I was reminded how strong my village is. I am very very thankful for all the members of my village and couldn't imagine our lives without them. And sometimes it's a really good thing to be reminded of that.

Final Weeks of Summer

So we're already into the final four weeks of summer. I can't believe it's gone so fast, and at the same time we have four potentially LONG weeks ahead of us. John's in a half-day camp this week, Kara's in a short morning camp next week, and then it's just a lot of together time for the duration. I'm hoping for warm days and lots of pool visits paired with a few bigger outings that will keep the appropriate balance of exhaustion and interest going to minimize the bickering that will ensue if I let boredom set in. Can you tell I'm a little apprehensive about this? I'm trying my best to be optimistic, but I'm not the type of mom who can go, go, go and keep up the energy and manage everything else too. I can handle a fair number of activities, but only if it comes paired with some downtime too. I'm hoping we can manage without too much yelling (me), screaming (them), hitting (them), and time outs (everyone). That's my goal. I know, it's lofty, but we're going to try. I'm going to do my best to be the mom with lots of ideas, some active and some relaxing and even a few productive things squeezed in for good measure. We'll see how it goes.

I'm also hoping to squeeze in a few posts here and there and finally get around to posting pictures of the final kitchen project. It is done at this point and we are loving it! What a difference it has made in our house and in our lives. It will continue to develop as we continue to grow into the space and figure out how to maximize our enjoyment of it. Sometimes hard work does pay off and it's fun to enjoy the grown-up pleasures that we've been looking forward to.

Stay cool...and look for more posts soon!

An apology

So I feel like I would be remiss tonight if I didn't first apologize to Kara's preschool teacher, Mrs. Kelleher. Not that she'll read this tonight, tomorrow, or ever, for that matter, but I do owe her a huge apology. Tomorrow my daughter is going to be a complete bear. My crystal fortune telling ball is a bit fuzzy, so I'm not sure when the evil side will present itself. No doubt it will reveal itself at some completely inopportune moment, and likely she'll be an angel tomorrow during school, but the ugliness will come and I hope our lovely teacher, who I adore, isn't the recipient of the nastiness. I'm convinced I will be battered and bruised by the end of the day tomorrow.

Today started poorly for my dear Kara. After a tantrum of her own, I lost my temper with her, resulting in a very ugly interaction between us, all before we even left for the bus stop! We had a decent morning, followed by a playdate for her and John, then a late nap, and then several more tantrums during a very long and painful bedtime process. As Matt and John were trying to watch the Caps playoff game tonight, she kept repeating how she wanted her mittens. Over and over and over and over... No limit of explanation that it was April, not mitten weather, if she's cold she could use a blanket, etc, etc, etc. was good enough for her. She needed her damn mittens. Then, later, she insisted on having socks to sleep in. I gave her instructions for how to get her socks (by first brushing her teeth), and after much misery and non-compliance, I told her she was done, had lost her chance, and then the bawling really began. She just couldn't get it. There was lots of crying and screaming.

So it was a late, long night for my dear daughter. She's going to be tired tomorrow. There's preschool in the morning, then lunch and nap/quiet time, then playtime, early dinner, and t-ball practice right up until the kids' bedtime. It could be a busy, good day or it could be a long, painful day for us all. We'll see how it goes. But I figure it's a good idea to get my apology out ahead of the ugliness. It's one thing to have your kid take out their anger/frustration on you, but it's another thing entirely for them to take it out on the schoolmates or teacher.

I'm really sorry Mrs. Kelleher. I'm trying, really hard. But in the end, I'm just really sorry.

I did it

So, after posting the other day about trying to make more "in the moment" time with my kids, I managed to actually do it this morning. Kara's now in a swim class that is smack in the middle of the morning. For good and bad, it prevents running bigger errands, but also gives us some time after John's left for school before we have to be heading out to swimming. So this morning, I showered before anyone else was awake so I wouldn't lose my "Kara time" to my basic hygiene needs. Anyway, after we got back from the bus stop, Kara and I picked a project that she's been begging to do - a doll-fairy making kit she got for Christmas from her Aunt Caroline - and sat down to work. It was a bit advanced for her skill level, but I think she enjoyed doing it. I know I loved seeing her face at the completed item. The glue is still drying and we'll have to improvise some different wings for her as the kit's wings had some glue complications. Anyway, she's pleased as punch that we found the time to make the doll and my guess is even if we never get back to finishing the wings part, she'll get some play value out of the doll as it is.

It felt so good to take the time this morning to really be here with her and do the doll project. I'm hopeful it will make me inspired to be better about this with both kids. This afternoon's after school plans involve a bit of homework with John and then breaking into his new crayon maker that he's been begging to do!

Back to the Blog

Alright, so it's been months since I posted here and, to be honest, I've missed it. I think about postings in my head and haven't gotten them down on the computer. I can say we've been busy, which is true, but I also think I just needed to let go of one commitment for a little bit for my sanity and, well, the blog was it. Thus, the message in this post...read on.

Every day every parent doubts their ability to be a good parent. You spend so much energy and thought making parenting your primary focus and yet you still worry that you're not doing enough or not doing it right. It's totally overwhelming and stressful and makes your head spin on a daily basis.

I grapple with this regularly - load up on activities vs. spending quality time at home with my kids. Letting them play independently vs. engaging them in constant play. I love my kids more than anything and they astound me each and every day with their humor, charm, intelligence, sincerity, generosity, and so much more. Many days I feel like I didn't do enough - maybe I didn't do enough arts and crafts with them, or I didn't do enough reading, or I didn't limit their time in front of the tv, or hundreds of other "I didn't"s.

But deep down, I do know that I did. I do spend a lot of time doing all of those things with my kids. I just wish, so hard, that I could wipe away all of the extraneous things in our days - grocery shopping, cleaning, laundry - all the stuff that must get done, but that takes away from my time to "just be" with my kids. If only those things could fade into the background and I could spend all the quality time I want with my kids, for just a day, or two, or three.

But life isn't about "if only"s, any more than it should be about all the "I didn't"s. I am struggling with remembering to appreciate each moment and making the most of the time we do have. I am cleaning through a lot of the clutter, emotional and physical clutter, in our lives to allow me more energy and time to enjoy our life and enjoy the moments as they come.

Wish me luck.

So I'm officially crazy!

Well, at least I'm thinking it must be, otherwise I would not manage to totally over-commit myself like I do. One look at the calendar in our kitchen makes it clear to any rational person that we have a few too many things going on. I don't know how to make any of it "go away" and I'm scared to think about how much behind the scenes work has to happen to make it through it all.

I am volunteering my behind off, because I believe in supporting the schools, and of course, also so that when I do eventually go back to work I can show that I was not totally resting on my laurels and eating my yummy bon-bons (which is clearly what all of us stay-at-home moms do, right?). So I managed to get into the position of serving as VP for my daughter's preschool board. This one shouldn't be too big of a deal - not too much work for this position, mostly just meeting attendance and a project or two. Then at the Back-to-School Night for John's kindergarten class I managed to sign myself up to be the class parent. Not entirely sure what I was thinking, I guess mostly that I wanted to enthusiastically support the teacher and the class. yikes.

Yeah...so those are two biggies for me for this year. Add to that swimming, soccer, and ballet. Add to that bus stop runs twice a day, trying to squeeze in some walks for me and Kara's playgroup. Before long I'll also be trying to get some more time for doing my website work with my old employer too.

Did I mention that Kara's birthday is in a week, John's follows in December, on top of all the holiday fun. And my mom had major knee surgery this week, so I'll be trying to get in some visits and be helpful to my parents as they work through the recovery/rehab process for her (which is going extremely well so far, so that's great).

Like I said, CRAZY!!! No doubt about it...just crazy....

Another Week of Firsts

So last week was a big first - John starting kindergarten. This week was also full of firsts for us....

1. Kara's first day of preschool - went GREAT and she loved it. (and I loved it too!)
2. Kara's first day of ballet - also went GREAT and couldn't have been cuter.
3. First (of many) Back-to-School Nights for Matt and I - we enjoyed it and learned a lot about what John's days are like and are looking forward to a great school year for John.
4. First time I had to talk with John about bullies. A bus-ride incident with a neighbor kid resulted in a big conversation that I wasn't really ready to have so soon into school. But all seems to be okay for now.
5. First time John cried when the bus came. Wednesday morning, out of the blue, he cried when the bus pulled up that he didn't want to go to school. After so much excitement about school, I was baffled. Got in the car, drove to school instead, and all was better...for now. Today again had a bit of hesitation, but no tears, and got on the bus without a problem.
6. First preschool board meeting of the year for me - oh joy....
7. First drop-off birthday party that John will be going to (tomorrow) - should be a lot of fun. Matt's going to do a Daddy-daughter activity, so I'll get an hour and a half to myself on a Saturday morning. Ahhhhhh...Not sure what to do, but I'll enjoy it!

Anyway, you get the point. It's been a crazy, stressful, and fun week around here. But we're all really wiped out. The weekend ahead is almost as busy and will undoubtedly be fun, but I'm having a bit of trouble gearing up the energy for it! Thus my mantra right now is Power Through!!!!

And We're Off...

The first week of school has been a true success. Besides some issues with the bus schedule that seem to be working out gradually, everything has gone very smoothly. And John couldn't be more happy. While walking home from the bus on Tuesday afternoon, I asked him the standard, "So, what did you do today at school?" His response - "I'm so excited about going back tomorrow, that I can't even talk about today." What pure joy! It didn't give me the slightest clue into what had happened during the almost 7 hour school day, but it let me know that he was happy and had a great time at school. Any worries or concerns I might have had about things were quickly dissolved with his enthusiasm. The last two days after school, he's given me the same response, so I'm gathering that things are continuing in the same happy trend for him during the day.

I am glad to know that we will have a chance to get more of a glimpse into his daily life next week, when Matt and I get to go to Back-to-School Night. We'll get to meet his teacher (again), and explore the classroom, and hear from her more about what kindergarten life is really like. But until then, I'm just thrilled that he's having fun and enjoying his days at school. How cool is that?

The BIG Day

So our world is going to change tomorrow. Not only is summer officially over, but my oldest child goes out into the world, gets on a big yellow school bus, and goes to kindergarten. I knew the day would come, yearned for it even. But now it's looming over me like a dark cloud and I'm not particularly thrilled with it.

He's totally ready for this step. If he had to spend another week at home with me and his little sister, I think we'd all go nuts. He's ready for a schedule again, ready for new learning opportunities, ready to see some friends, and ready for everything else that goes along with this step.

Me? I thought I was ready. Maybe I convinced myself that I was ages ago, so that when the time came I would have brainwashed myself into believing it wouldn't be so hard. I was wrong or maybe I didn't do a good enough job with the brainwashing. I'm a mess inside today. Mostly I'm proud - proud of my son, who is strong, confident, caring, and sweet. But part of me is also nervous - nervous for all the changes that come with entering elementary school - all the social upheaval that we're heading into, all the many things that he'll be exposed to on the bus and in school with kids that are so much older than him. He's still my little guy and I hope he'll always be that for me. He's still so young and innocent (mostly). But that will change tomorrow when he gets on that bus. It may not be an instant change, but it will gradually shift for him and for us. I guess I am ready for the academic challenges of kindergarten, but not so much for the social challenges.

John is a great kid and I can't imagine him being any more ready for this step, but I just wish I felt more ready. Although truly, I'm not sure I'll ever be fully ready to let go. Fortunately the time comes regardless of my readiness.

Aha moment!

So 2 nights ago, during bathtime, I had an Aha! moment and it was just reinforced a few moments ago as Matt is doing bathtime tonight. My kids are, for the moment, still getting bathed together in the tub. But when it comes time to start washing hair we always get resistance. And it can be ugly. Which makes bathtime turn into a miserable time for everyone.

On Friday night, I was doing bathtime with the kids (because in our tiny bathrooms really only one parent can do the washing of the kids at a time, so we try to take turns doing our "chore" of bath duty). It occurred to me that there had to be a better way to get them to be more willing in the process. I first asked for a volunteer to go first with hair washing. No volunteers (surprise, surprise.) I declared (much to their surprise) that I would count to 3, if I had no volunteers by 3 then I would pick who would go first and that everyone would lose books at bedtime. If I did get a volunteer, then that person would get to pick the first book to be read at bedtime. :-))))) Hee heee heeeee! Guess what? I got a volunteer! John picked up on the threat very quickly and volunteered shortly after the "one" sound started coming out of my mouth. Kara was very dismayed that she didn't "win" the right to pick the first bedtime book. But, most importantly, everyone was a willing participant in the hair washing process.

Then comes tonight. A few moments ago...both kids in the tub with Matt at the bathtime helm.... He tells them he's going to use the same process that I started last time and before he even got to the counting, Kara says "Meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee first!!!" Cue the AHA!!! moment for Mommy!!

I love it beyond words when a parenting trick pans out just the way you wanted it to!! There's not much sweeter than that. Mark one in the column for Mommy tonight. I love it.

Kara's Lesson

Yesterday there were more lessons learned around here. This time mostly by Kara. One lesson I learned is that we may be closer to giving up the nap than I would like to believe. On Sunday and again yesterday, Kara spent her naptime in her crib, but not sleeping. She was singing away, happy as could be, but definitely not sleeping. Then comes the second lesson...when she decided she was done, she climbed out of her crib and came downstairs. Hmmmm. Previous experience (a.k.a. John) leads me to think that we may be ready to move out of the crib and into the toddler bed. The timing on this is not great since I'm also preparing to make efforts on the potty training front and get both kids ready to start school shortly. I'd prefer for everyone to be getting enough sleep and be well-rested, happy kids during the day...things are just easier that way...for everyone. I've been trying to convince myself that Kara's transition into the big bed will be easier than John's was (it was almost a year and a half before he was regularly sleeping through the night again after moving beds.) It has to be easier this time, right?

All I can say is thank god for coffee. I may need a lot of it in the coming days. And a lot of patience.

Always Learning

One lesson I've learned during my parenting years is that if you pay attention, you can learn something from your kids every day. Some days I learn multiple things, other days I learn one thing, but maybe it's a big one. Today was a big day for learning around here. Time will tell what the kids came away with after today. All I know right now, tonight, is that my kids taught me two big lessons today.

1. Kara had a horribly cranky, fussy, grumpy day. Starting at the moment I walked into her room this morning to get her out of the crib (she just grunted and didn't want to be touched, but also didn't want me to leave the room...lovely...) and ending at bedtime when she melted down after a tantrum she was throwing resulted in the loss of bedtime books for her. She managed to pull it together enough for a few snuggles before getting into the crib, so at least there was a moment at the end of the day that wasn't filled with her screaming or grunting or crying or making other hysterical noises.

The lessons I learned from Kara today were twofold. First, the quickly approaching age of three is going to challenge every level of patience that I have and I anticipate it being a very very long year ahead for us all. Second, and more important, is that even through the rough spots, there were quite a few moments of her sweet tender side today, and I need to remember to cherish and enjoy each and every one of those every single day.

2. The second lesson was from John. This weekend we went to the pool each day with Matt, who doesn't get to come with us very often. For some reason, I got it stuck in my head that John really needed to work on getting more comfortable with going underwater. The kid has started going down the slide and can swim (doggie-paddle) across the length of the pool, and here I am pushing him to get that face in the water! I realized at the end of the second pool trip that John was getting way more anxious about the whole thing and was never going to be comfortable with the idea, much less be able to do it with me forcing it on him. After he was in bed last night it occurred to me how ridiculous I was being and that I needed to just back off. The summer and the pool should be about having fun and hanging out with friends, which is what we've been doing and loving so far this year. I intend to continue that trend for the next four weeks.

So with that lesson learned yesterday, I started the day off today with John by apologizing to him for my inappropriate behavior at the pool. I told him that there would be no more pushing for the underwater stuff and that he should enjoy the pool and have fun. Go down the slide, swim across the pool, and play games with your friends. And go underwater only if you want to, and only WHEN you want to. It was not exactly easy to give a very sincere and heartfelt apology to my son, but it was so necessary and I felt so much better once I had done it.

Two big lessons learned today. All in all, I love my kids and all the lessons they have to teach me about love and patience and life.

Tennis Camp and More

So this week is John's tennis camp. Not an intense thing, just half and hour of some kids learning some of the basics of tennis. He enjoyed it yesterday, but it was hot. Today is going to be even hotter, so it could be brutal on the courts by 10:00. But our plan is to go pretty much straight to the pool from camp, have lunch there and play with friends until Kara poops out and has to have her nap. Then the afternoon will be more relaxed with the only requirement being to get our bag of CSA veggies.

My non-athletic kid has picked up some athletic interests of late, much to my surprise. He continues this summer to surprise me with his increased swimming skills - swimming the length of the pool, going down the slide unassisted, cannonballs, etc. And now he's signed up to do soccer in the fall, and seems to be enjoying the tennis this week. It's funny to me how much he's doing and enjoying all of it. I can tell he's getting stronger through all of it too, as he keeps trying his skills at the monkey bars at the playground and he's able to do more and more each time.

At this age my focus has been to expose him to lots of different activities and see where his skills and interests land. It's been an adventure, almost bordering on being that mom who is running her kids around crazy without any downtime...but not quite to an extreme...yet. We'll definitely slow down in the fall with John starting full-day kindergarten, giving him time to get adjusted to the new schedule and demands. But it's great to me to see his growing interests in athletic activities and I'm going to do all I can to encourage and support that. I'm just so proud of my little man, who doesn't seem to be so little anymore.

TV Challenges

Shortly after our beach trip, Matt was able to work out a deal with our cable provider to bundle our phone, cable and internet services for a lower rate than what we had been paying previously. In a tough financial year, with no raise for Matt (we’re thankful he still has a job), we’re looking at ways to save some money instead. There was a chance this was going to mean a change of phone numbers for us too, which I think we’re going to manage to avoid…thank goodness! The installation was on Tuesday of this week, and it means that we now have a cable box. Somehow we have navigated the world of cable without having to get a box for many years now. Not sure how we did that, but boy did it make things easier. Not only do we have a box, all the channels are different, and I can’t seem to find the shows I like to watch (not that summertime tv is much to watch anyway). This afternoon John asked to watch a dvd we have from the library…should be simple, right? NO. I couldn’t for the life of me figure out how to get the darn thing to work. I had the cable box on and off, the tv on and off, and all combinations of the above. Nothing worked. Then when I was ready to quit trying it (and wait for Daddy to come home), I couldn’t get it back to having the box on and tv on and actually working normally again. It took me another 5 minutes to get it back to showing regular tv and I’m still not sure what on earth I did. Now I consider myself a reasonably intelligent person, but when it comes to these ridiculous electronic set-ups that no one ever seems to actually understand I am baffled. It really should not be that hard to watch a tv show or to get a dvd to play for my kids. No wonder so many parents just do not let their kids watch any tv at all. After another experience or two like this, I’ll be done too! Bah!

Jelly Beans?

Yesterday, after writing the post about the potty training, I was all focused and ready to move forward a bit on the process. So after Kara's nap I changed her diaper and asked if she wanted to use the potty. She was a bit skeptical at first, but then I suggested that if she went tinkle there would be a jelly bean for her (which I always swore to myself I would NEVER do - ha!). At that her enthusiasm soared and she immediately went in and did the deed. Feeding off her energy, I pulled out a pull-up and asked if she wanted to give that a try for the afternoon. She considered it carefully and decided she'd prefer a diaper instead. I tried to convince her to try it, but she just wasn't buying it. So we came downstairs and got the jelly bean. I started to unload the dishwasher and then she announced she needed to use the potty again...so she could get another jelly bean. After reminding myself that this is what potty training is like, we marched back upstairs and she dripped a few more drops out, we cleaned up and got another jelly bean for her effort. She tried to do it one more time about 3 minutes later. I convinced her it would be better to wait until she felt the need to go, and later I felt guilty about putting her off mainly because I didn't want to truck back up the stairs, but oh well. Two things were made clear to me: 1) CLEARLY I need to get a second potty for her for the main floor bathroom and 2) I still need more energy to get through this.

Of course, today we haven't done anything in the potty at all the whole day. Whatever energy I had about this yesterday must have left the premises. Wonder when I'll get it back.....Hmmm....

Pending Potty Training

So, like I mentioned yesterday, potty training is looming on the horizon for us. Kara is supposed to be potty trained before starting preschool in September. But she has not shown quite enough interest in it yet for me to be ready to make the big effort that it takes. This summer so far has been too busy for us really to take the time to stop and focus on this "project." In a few more weeks, John will be done with camps and then things will (in theory at least) slow down for us. I'm trying now to gear myself up mentally for the process of potty training once that time comes. Part of my challenge is that Kara is fiercely independent and will not take kindly to any situation in which she feels like she doesn't have control. If she's truly not ready to do this, it just will turn into a battle and no one will win. I'm so not looking forward to it! But it is an effort I feel like we have to start soon so that we might have a chance of getting through it before preschool starts. So today I'm vowing to pick a time on the calendar in August when we do the whole spend up to a week (some say it only takes 3 days) and go nowhere and focus on the potty training. Sounds like a fun week to me...NOT. But it must be done and my attitude about it needs be strong and positive. Here we go, on the potty training express! Who hooo!! (Wish me luck...I think I might need it.)

To Do List

Upon returning from the beach my to-do list grew by leaps and bounds. Our grand plan was to enjoy our beach trip, come home, and put a moratorium on our spending. Great idea, right? Well, unfortunately, it's just not going to work.

To Do List:
1. Clean House - well, the vacuum is only half working, need to replace it before things will get truly clean the way I like to keep the house, which is by no means a spotless house, but I still definitely need a working vacuum.
2. Get new phones - just got updated phone service and new digital/high-def cable service today, so now the phones can get upgraded too (ones that are not a big pain in the butt to dial the numbers will be a big improvement).
3. Get school supplies for John - he needs a new backpack and a TON of school supplies from a list the school gave us.
4. Get new tennis shoes for the kids - both kids have worn out their current shoes, hoping to hold them through the rest of the summer, but will need new ones for school...not to mention that mine are getting older too.
5. Get new shutters, gutters, railings, and molding around the front door - $$$$$$$$$
6. More work to be done on the inside of the house too - $$$$$$$
7. Find and apply labels to John's jackets, hats, etc. for school.
8. Get Kara potty trained - fun...NOT.
9. Figure out new decorations/arrangements for Kara's room once she's out of her crib - $$$$$
10. Purge, purge, purge, purge, and purge - truly, we could not possibly need this much stuff!!

And that's only the big stuff on the to-do list. As you can see, most of these items involve spending more money, many of them are non-negotiable items, some are more expensive than others (thank goodness), but all need to get done sooner rather than later. I was hoping the pace of the rest of the summer would be a little more relaxed, but I'm guessing that's just not my fate this year. Add in a lot of time at the pool, garden, and other outdoor activities, and the summer is almost done. I'm not even caught up to where I should be now, there's no way I'll be ready by the end of the summer! Oh well, I guess I'd better just have a mojito and enjoy the day instead.

A Couple of Noteworthy Items Today

1. Yesterday while we were at the pool celebrating a good friend's birthday with super yummy cupcakes (thanks Heather!), John actually swam the entire length of the pool on his own. We've been practicing the swimming in shorter lengths, but this time I kept moving back and he kept going. Pretty soon we were almost the entire way across and so we kept going and he made it - no swim vest, no help from me - all on his own. I was so proud of him. I think he surprised himself even! Now if he can just start swimming with his face in the water he will be all set! Each time we go to the pool lately he's been trying new things and doing great, so I have every confidence that by the end of the summer he'll be more comfortable with the underwater aspect too. For now I'm perfectly happy to celebrate his big doggie paddling successes!! Yay John!!!

2. Today we pick up our first bag of summer vegetables from our CSA. We split our share with a neighbor again this year, so they actually picked up the first bag last week and now it's our turn. I'm very excited to see what yummy veggies will be in our bag. The kids always get excited too, even if it's not always stuff they're going to eat. But they are often willing to try things that come in the bags, more so than if it's something I just pick out at the store. Ohhh goody!

3. The last notable item for today is that Kara will be having her first haircut. That's right, her first EVER haircut. Yes, I do realize that the poor girl is approaching three, and she's got a seriously crazy mane of hair. But it is beautiful hair and until now I haven't been able to bring myself to have any bit of it cut off. Finally now though, it is time. She's got a ton of dead ends that are only continuing to get worse and tangle more and more. And with our beach trip next week, the wind will not add good things to her hair situation. So I made her an appointment with my hairdresser for her very first haircut. I have been going to my hairdresser for over twenty years now and she also cut John's hair for his first haircut (of course, he was 5 months old, and had a full head of hair). We talked a little bit at dinner last night about what the haircut experience would be like for her. Kara asked if it would hurt. :-) I told her no, that other than a little bit of combing her hair out, the cutting part would not hurt at all. I'm excited to watch her go through this rite of passage, but the reality is this truly will only be a trim. I'm not quite ready to cut it short or anything so dramatic, but hopefully it will make the brushing process easier for us and maybe we'll even get some more of her lovely curls as a result. My baby is really growing up.