Back to the Blog

Alright, so it's been months since I posted here and, to be honest, I've missed it. I think about postings in my head and haven't gotten them down on the computer. I can say we've been busy, which is true, but I also think I just needed to let go of one commitment for a little bit for my sanity and, well, the blog was it. Thus, the message in this post...read on.

Every day every parent doubts their ability to be a good parent. You spend so much energy and thought making parenting your primary focus and yet you still worry that you're not doing enough or not doing it right. It's totally overwhelming and stressful and makes your head spin on a daily basis.

I grapple with this regularly - load up on activities vs. spending quality time at home with my kids. Letting them play independently vs. engaging them in constant play. I love my kids more than anything and they astound me each and every day with their humor, charm, intelligence, sincerity, generosity, and so much more. Many days I feel like I didn't do enough - maybe I didn't do enough arts and crafts with them, or I didn't do enough reading, or I didn't limit their time in front of the tv, or hundreds of other "I didn't"s.

But deep down, I do know that I did. I do spend a lot of time doing all of those things with my kids. I just wish, so hard, that I could wipe away all of the extraneous things in our days - grocery shopping, cleaning, laundry - all the stuff that must get done, but that takes away from my time to "just be" with my kids. If only those things could fade into the background and I could spend all the quality time I want with my kids, for just a day, or two, or three.

But life isn't about "if only"s, any more than it should be about all the "I didn't"s. I am struggling with remembering to appreciate each moment and making the most of the time we do have. I am cleaning through a lot of the clutter, emotional and physical clutter, in our lives to allow me more energy and time to enjoy our life and enjoy the moments as they come.

Wish me luck.