The moon and the stars

Many people know that while I absolutely adore my daughter, she has not always been the easiest child to parent.  I love her all the way to the moon and stars and back one hundred million times (one of our bedtime expressions of love).  But she can test every limit of my patience and push me to the brink of parenting disaster in ways that I cannot even describe.  And she's only six years old.

In preschool she had a number of rough patches with behavior issues.  We had tantrums that rivaled anything I'd ever seen.  John had tantrums too at that age, but with the exception of when he had been on a steroid medication, they were all very age appropriate and typical.  No concerns.  But Kara on the other hand....  We coped as best we could.  We managed to get through them.  It wasn't pretty.  But we survived.  Until we weren't managing them as best we could.  And I could feel us all losing ourselves in her tantrums.  It became a problem.  A big problem.  As I've heard therapists say, it was causing a major disruption in our normal lives.  That's the turning point.  That was the point at which we decided to seek help.

First stop, the pediatrician.  By then of course, we already had some ideas of what the issues could be.  Not autism, but other developmental issues, learning issues, ADHD, executive function issues, all kinds of problems were circling in my worried brain.  After a lengthy meeting with the pediatrician, she ordered a full gamut of blood tests, which I was convinced were overkill and not going to give us any answers.  She clearly wasn't sure about it either, but wanted to start there.  She seemed focused on the possibility of the behavior problems being related to Restless Leg Syndrome.  Really?  No. Way.  I was a bit frustrated at her suggestion.  How could my rock star sleeper child be a victim of RLS?  Didn't make sense to me.  At all.

So we moved forward and did the bloodwork.  Which was AWFUL.  Kara screamed.  And thrashed.  And sobbed.  It took three nurses and me to hold her still and the lab tech to draw the blood.  It was horrible.  For her and for me.  But we survived.

And sure enough, the one test that showed an issue was her iron levels, and thus a diagnosis of RLS.  Well, yes, once the results came back it started to make more sense to me.  She is one of the most picky eaters I have ever known.  She eats virtually no vegetables.  We are vegetarian, so she doesn't get a lot of meat.  I avoid iron in their multivitamin as she has always been very prone to constipation.  Yes, I imagine her iron levels would be extremely low!  And they were.  So we started a chewable iron vitamin, four tablets per day.

That was almost a year ago.  My daughter is now almost a completely different child.  She still has the occasional tantrum.  What six year old doesn't?  But she is happy.  She is funny.  She can go along with things that she's not always so happy about without having a major day-stopping meltdown.  She still does require more sleep than her brother, but now we know she's getting good QUALITY sleep.  We went on vacation over spring break with another family for the third year in a row.  After the trip, as I reflected on the week, I realized that she had been the best behaved child on the trip!  I have never been able to say that about her.  Ever.  I was so proud of her.  And so thankful that life has gotten so much better for her.

She is a little ray of sunshine when she is happy.  Her smile can melt my heart and her laugh is positively contagious.  Who knew that iron vitamins could make such a difference for our family and for her?  Not me.  But I thank my lucky stars every day now that we do know.  Because I love her and her smile and her laugh all the way to the moon and the stars a hundred million times.

October = Illness

Around here it seems that October cannot get by without bringing the first of the season's many cold bugs into our home. Kara's third birthday was October 3rd and she had a slight cold then. By the next week, it had passed on to John...and then turned into croup. Fortunately the croup part only lasted about two days, but the cold lingered on for him. After missing most of the week of school, we packed up and headed north to Maine for a long weekend, visiting my extended family and enjoying some fall color. During the whirlwind trip, I came down with the cold. I felt okay the day we drove back, thankfully, but have spent the last 3 days being pretty miserable. And finally, not to be left out of anything, Matt woke up this morning declaring his body's submission to the cold as well. I'm truly wondering what it would be like for our family to stay healthy through October. The last few years have consistently resulted in a thorough spread of illness through our household. It's unfortunate, for many reasons, but mostly because we all truly enjoy fall and all the many fun activities there are to do during this season. At this point it looks like we may need to scale down our fall activities we had planned for this weekend so we can just get some rest and recuperate. So tough.

At least we were able to enjoy Kara's birthday and our trip to Maine was great. A lot of good family togetherness and seeing my grandmother for the first time in two years was also good. Her older sister (just turned 90!!) was able to come out from California and that was great too. My grandmother has severe dementia, so may not have known who anyone was specifically, but definitely had some recognition of those around her and certainly was happy to see her sister after many years. It was a very special visit. The kids enjoyed playing with their cousins and I got to visit with my brother and sister-in-law, which I always enjoy. It was kind of a crazy trip to make for a weekend, but it was well worth it.

Now we're on to finishing off October with a potential camping trip next weekend, soccer games, starting swimming lessons, and of course, Halloween. Kara seems to be changing her mind on her costume choice by the day. She clearly doesn't understand yet that her options might be more limited than she thinks! Working on that....

I'm optimisitic that my blogging will become more frequent again soon. Once my head cold diminishes and I have a clearer brain, I'll get back on top of things...or maybe I'll get better about accepting that I'm always behind and figure out a way to enjoy it all more instead. Hmm, I think I might like that idea better!

A Walk for Sunshine

I am about to finish reading a fabulous book written by a man who thru-hiked the Appalachian Trail in 1998. The book is titled "A Walk for Sunshine." He used the hike as an opportunity to do a fundraiser for Sunshine Home, a collection of group homes and services for individuals with mental retardation and other disabilities located in Ohio. The cover of the book says he's raised over $100,000. His original fundraising goal was $10,000.

It's a well-written account of his experiences on the Trail and provides insight into what a person must conquer during such a trek. Weather, animals, gear, other hikers, motivation and other obstacles must all be overcome to reach the final destination. It's quite an impressive task.

There was a time in my life when I thought I might section-hike the AT. I've never aspired to do a thru-hike, but section-hiking appealed to me. Who knows, someday that might still happen. It's a nice option to be able to say you completed the AT, without the intensity and grit required for a thru-hike. We'll see.

The AT is something that has always been around during my youth. I spent a lot of time camping and hiking when I was growing up. And have done many day hikes on the Trail. It's a beautiful place and I always find hiking a very peaceful and serene experience, not to mention the fabulous exercise it provides! Reading this book has reminded me of how valuable a resource the Trail is and how close it is to us. I am now inspired to get out and get on the Trail sometime soon! Anyone want to join us??

Sliding Doors

Ever spend any time wondering what might have been? Particularly if you had simply missed a train or picked a different register line at the grocery store or similar innocuous experience? I try not to spend my brain power on these kind of what ifs because truly they are simply what ifs and nothing can change what actually happened in the past. But every once in awhile things like this do pass through my brain and cause me to ponder the possibilities. It's not that I have big regrets in life, I don't (at least not of the big stuff anyway, a few smaller ones maybe). But just hearing about some of the things - good and bad - that happen to other people makes me appreciate where I am in the world and in my life. Yesterday at the preschool coffee gathering I hosted one mom was sharing a story with us about a child who had a massive tumor at birth and was basically given very slim survival chances. The infant was given chemo during his first week of life and has had a very bumpy road to travel. But the child is now 14 months old, the tumor is virtually gone and while he still has many health challenges, and it's anyone's guess as to the potential developmental delays that may come, the outlook for this child's life is much much better. It made me comment about how fortunate I feel to have had two pregnancies that were so mundane and easy that it made me almost feel guilty. The possibilities for mutation and problems are astounding during each and every pregnancy. And our diagnostic skills are amazing now so that so many of these things are known ahead of the birth, which helps when plans and preparations need to be made for special cases. Both of my pregnancies were relatively easy, low-risk, and thus ordinary. We had one sonogram for each, and did not choose to do some of the chromosomal tests that might have revealed any problems, and had no ultrasounds done. Thus each time as the birth drew near, I could not help but wonder if my babies would be healthy or if there would be some problem discovered that we would not have been prepared for. I knew we would love the baby regardless, but what if.... Each time I was so thankful when my infant was snuggled up with me and I knew they were perfect, tiny people. The miracle of life truly is a miracle. There are so many things that need to happen at just the right time, in just the right way, for things to work out the way they should. I thank my lucky stars each day that they did for my family.

Rough Week

Well, it has been a seriously rough week for me. I had to work in the preschool classroom the last two days and it was crazy in there. You could just see the built up winter energy bouncing off the walls. Even kids that are usually so well-behaved were having trouble sitting still and listening and following directions. It gave me a new appreciation for preschool teachers everywhere. Then on Friday I'm hosting a coffee session for the mothers of the preschool class. Should be plenty of fun, but adds a lot to the workload of the week. Add to all this the fact that yet again we are plagued with drippy noses. John's got a hefty cough, which seems to be mostly limited to nights and early mornings, along with a stuffy nose. And Kara has a super snotty nose and is tired and cranky.

All this adds up to one very tired and overwhelmed Mommy. I've definitely been doing some stress-eating this week, since I haven't been able to take much of a break. I keep trying to remind myself not to do that, but it is one of my biggest vices. Cheese, chocolates, pretzels, and any other snack foods I can find. Today during preschool is my one real chance for a break, and I really should be doing some of the MANY things that need to happen before tomorrow. But I just can't seem to make myself do anything productive. I need to relax and slow down, even if it's just for a while. The other stuff will happen, not sure when, but it will happen.

I'm going to continue my relaxing session, and try not to feel too guilty about it. ;-)

Too long!

I just logged into Blogger and realized that Feb. 5 was my last post. Clearly it's been too long since I posted anything. Sorry about that! My biggest reason for that is that I have been sick. Mainly a really nasty head cold, that I thought turned into a sinus infection, but my doctor wasn't sure. Anyway, I am now finally starting to feel a bit better, still kind of run down, but better. Of course, after almost 3 weeks of being sick, now Matt is down with the cold. :-( The kids are both healthy, for today at least. We'll see how long that lasts though.

We just returned from spending a long weekend in Bryce, VA, which is a small ski resort area just under 2 hours from here. We rented a big house with my parents and some good friends of our family and spent the weekend together. It was great. John was finally old enough to go snow-tubing for the first time. He loved it. And we did a bit of hiking, snow tubing, lots of eating, drinking, games, and toured a local potato chip factory (Route 11 Chips - they're awesome!). The kids enjoyed having so many adults around to entertain them. I appreciated all the extra help keeping them occupied while I was still recovering from being sick. We came home yesterday and we were all pretty exhausted.

Now I'm trying to find the energy to get the kids out with their bikes later today for some exercise. It will be good for them and for me, but I have to find the motivation! And then yoga tonight and a preschool board meeting tomorrow night.

Speaking of preschool, I dropped off the forms today for Kara to go to preschool next year. She will be going to the same school John has attended, which I love. She and I are both so excited for this. Technically with her October 3rd birthday, she misses the birthday cut-off of September 30th. But the advantage to returning to a school you know is that they're willing to bend a bit on that rule for us. Kara will be totally ready and it will give her a sense of doing something that her big brother has done. He'll be off to kindergarten next year, so we'll still have plenty of one-on-one time while he's gone. But having her in a 2-morning program in the fall, will also give me some Mommy-time! Yippeeee!!!!

Gotta run, I can hear that naptime is over for today. Hope you're all fairing well and may health be in your homes more than it's been around here!

Kara's Down, Really Down

Well, after continuing with her fever issues for another couple of days, I finally called and got us in to the doctor this morning. Thank goodness I got an early appointment, since with the snow we (finally) got this morning the roads were pretty messed up. Anyway, after a quick listen to her chest, and a lookie in her ears, he told me that she has a "touch" of pneumonia, often called "walking pneumonia", and a double ear infection. Yikes! Until today, my kids had never had an ear infection and the only time antibiotics had been given was eyedrops for John last year when he had pink eye. It was something that was pure coincidence, since we have had our share of sicknesses for sure, but I was quite proud of it. Anyway, Kara's now on antibiotics and will hopefully improve quickly. Otherwise it's back to the doctor for x-rays, etc. She really hasn't seemed all that sick though. She's been playing and eating, just slowing down when the fever kicks in. Boy am I glad to have gotten her in to the doctor!

The biggest bummer of it is that today it has finally snowed enough that the kids can go out and play in the snow. Shovel it, throw snowballs, make snow angels, and have some fun. Except for Kara. The doctor recommended keeping her indoors. What a bummer! So, fortunately, a wonderful neighbor offered to take John out with her kids to play in the snow. (THANK YOU Heather!!!) So at least he got out for a good romp with his friends - great on multiple levels for him. Maybe by the end of the week we'll be able to get back into our routines and have some fun again. ;-) Of course, then Matt will be leaving town for a couple of days for a work trip...always fun for Mom! Ah well, today we've had some extra tv time, hot cocoa, and I hope to make a big bowl of popcorn soon. If I'm going to be stuck inside with sick girl, I may as well enjoy it!

We're sick again!

Well, not all of us are this time, fortunately. So far (and I'm totally knocking on wood), Kara's the only one with the sickies. But, she's really got it good this time. She's had a fever for a couple of days now and a super drippy nose and a cough that kind of comes and goes. The fever has gotten up to 104.2 and 103.7 the last two nights, so she's been pretty miserable and unhappy. Not my usual happy funny girl.

The rest of us are trying like heck to stay healthy and trying to keep John occupied while keeping Kara at home. John and I went to a dinner last night at our good family friend's house. We stayed super late, and John and I both had a very fun time. Matt was able to get Kara to bed early and then enjoyed a quiet evening to himself, so I think it was good all around. But we're all definitely in need of some time out and about. It's been a long couple of weeks of bitter cold temps here lately and the kids are really starting to show it. Even John's preschool teacher said the kids were a little crazy in the class this week since playground opportunities had been limited recently. On Friday we had a brief warm up and all the neighborhood kids were outside and excited to see each other and played like crazy. At that point, Kara wasn't showing signs of her illness, so even she got some outdoor play time. It was good for kids and moms alike!

Hopefully Kara will rebound soon from the sickie bug and we'll be back on track to health and fun times for all. She's a sad puppy right now, for sure!

Finally Better...Now on to the New Year!

Well, I think we're finally recovering from the very nasty head cold that Matt and I were inflicted with last week. We were truly down and out for a full week with major head congestion. I just can't believe we were so ill with so few symptoms, but it was really just a head cold. And TONS of snot!

Anyway, after being very slow and uninteresting for the kids all week, we did manage to get out on Saturday morning and go over to the nearby Udvar-Hazy Museum, which is part of the National Air and Space Museum in D.C. It was an excellent follow-up for John's space lessons he's been doing at school and the museum itself is interesting and huge. Lots of room for the kids to wander and roam a bit, while we looked at a few things and everyone seemed to enjoy getting out of the house. I forget how close by this activity is to us and it really is a great resource.

Now it's Monday again and I'm finally trying to get back on track after the holidays and last week's sickness. I feel like my new year is just now beginning, while everyone else has been going for almost 2 weeks now! I'm behind on just about everything - laundry, cleaning, thank you notes, and even some work. I did manage to clean the bathrooms today, and hope to get to the floors later.

We got out early this morning for a Target run, per John's request. He decided to take some money out of his piggy bank to go and buy a train or two. So, since we didn't have pending plans, and I'm always willing to put off my housework, we headed out to Target. We counted his money pile first, he had $13.03 in his bag. I traded out his coins for my dollars for ease of the transaction. And he went straight to the Thomas the Tank Engine section of Target. After much careful deliberation, he selected two vehicles to purchase, Diesel 10 and Alfie. Diesel 10 is one that he has been wanting to get for quite some time now, so he is very pleased now to have it in his collection. And Alfie is a construction type vehicle (an excavator, I believe), so that's also a good addition. I'm proud of the way he decided which ones to buy. He could have brought a lot more money (he has quite the piggy bank), or nagged me for more money once he realized how much things were going to cost, but he didn't. He asked how much each thing was, and what he would be able to afford with the money he had in his bag. Then once his decision was made, he stuck to it through the rest of our shopping and was pleased with his purchase afterwards. I was very proud of his big-kid approach to the process and I believe he is too.

And much to my surprise, Kara didn't fuss a bit about John getting something from the store and nothing for her! She was happy to hold onto the container of goldfish crackers and didn't seem to notice that she wasn't getting a new toy. I know that won't happen many more times!

The week ahead holds a few busy days for us - swimming twice for John, Little Bits class for Kara, gymnastics for John, a doctor's appointment for John, and topped off with a yoga class for me. Should keep us all busy during what looks to be a bitterly cold week. I'm sure more adventures and stories will pop up this week, and I'll be sure to share them soon!

Yet Another Cold

So for the last few days we've been plagued with runny noses. I think one day John even had a bit of a cough. Nothing too bad, but still annoying and keeping us indoors for most of the weekend. Now John is mostly over it, Kara is clearly feeling okay but has a runny nose, and Matt and I are right in the thick of the cold. Today is the worst day so far for both of us - congestion, achiness, and that super annoying fuzzy head feeling. So Matt stayed home sick today. And I would have too, except that he was sick...and the kids aren't! Of course the weather is totally yucky today so we can't even get the kids out to the playground or outdoors at all. All I want to do is curl up into a ball, take some nyquil, and go to sleep. Don't even ask me what dinner will be - I haven't got a clue! I just lost at checkers to John (who's never beaten me), and I wasn't even trying to lose. I've been able to occupy the kids enough so they haven't watched an exorbitant amount of tv today, which often is what results when one of us is sick. But I did just relent to watching a new dvd they got for Christmas so that I can relax a bit and figure out some kind of food to serve them for dinner. I'm not sure Matt and I will even care what we eat, but they sure will.

I'm hopeful that since the kids have gotten over this so quickly, that Matt and I will soon follow suit. We have too much going on this week to get bogged down with yet another cold bug. So all you germs - just SHOOOOO!!! Out of my house!!! I want my head back!!!