I've been filled with great blogging intentions, but yet again seem to fail in the process of getting my thoughts out while in front of the computer. But that's not the point of today's post. I realized that it's Thursday and some time ago I got into doing a "Thankful Thursday" post and thought I would do a quick list this morning....
Today I am thankful for:
1. the still sleeping kids upstairs (yesterday was an over-tired doozy of a day, so hopefully some additional sleep will improve everyone's mood this morning)
2. the means and ability to plan the approaching kitchen renovation
3. the energy to get through the coming days
4. the plans that we have to go camping this weekend - we haven't been out camping in over a year and a half and I'm getting excited - although there's A LOT of work to do to get us there, but it will be all good in the end.
5. great neighbors and friends that I can totally rely on again and again and know that it's okay because I will support them over and over too
6. my dear husband
7. all the mother's in my life who help remind me that I'm not as crazy as I often feel
8. an amazing preschool family, which I am so excited for next year as Kara will have her entire playgroup in her class - yay! It's going to be so much fun for them and me!
9. the grapefruit half that's waiting in the fridge for me for breakfast this morning
10. the coffee in my cup and the coffee I'll get later this morning while I'm waiting for the van inspection
Thanks for reading!
5.13.2010
4.19.2010
An apology
So I feel like I would be remiss tonight if I didn't first apologize to Kara's preschool teacher, Mrs. Kelleher. Not that she'll read this tonight, tomorrow, or ever, for that matter, but I do owe her a huge apology. Tomorrow my daughter is going to be a complete bear. My crystal fortune telling ball is a bit fuzzy, so I'm not sure when the evil side will present itself. No doubt it will reveal itself at some completely inopportune moment, and likely she'll be an angel tomorrow during school, but the ugliness will come and I hope our lovely teacher, who I adore, isn't the recipient of the nastiness. I'm convinced I will be battered and bruised by the end of the day tomorrow.
Today started poorly for my dear Kara. After a tantrum of her own, I lost my temper with her, resulting in a very ugly interaction between us, all before we even left for the bus stop! We had a decent morning, followed by a playdate for her and John, then a late nap, and then several more tantrums during a very long and painful bedtime process. As Matt and John were trying to watch the Caps playoff game tonight, she kept repeating how she wanted her mittens. Over and over and over and over... No limit of explanation that it was April, not mitten weather, if she's cold she could use a blanket, etc, etc, etc. was good enough for her. She needed her damn mittens. Then, later, she insisted on having socks to sleep in. I gave her instructions for how to get her socks (by first brushing her teeth), and after much misery and non-compliance, I told her she was done, had lost her chance, and then the bawling really began. She just couldn't get it. There was lots of crying and screaming.
So it was a late, long night for my dear daughter. She's going to be tired tomorrow. There's preschool in the morning, then lunch and nap/quiet time, then playtime, early dinner, and t-ball practice right up until the kids' bedtime. It could be a busy, good day or it could be a long, painful day for us all. We'll see how it goes. But I figure it's a good idea to get my apology out ahead of the ugliness. It's one thing to have your kid take out their anger/frustration on you, but it's another thing entirely for them to take it out on the schoolmates or teacher.
I'm really sorry Mrs. Kelleher. I'm trying, really hard. But in the end, I'm just really sorry.
Today started poorly for my dear Kara. After a tantrum of her own, I lost my temper with her, resulting in a very ugly interaction between us, all before we even left for the bus stop! We had a decent morning, followed by a playdate for her and John, then a late nap, and then several more tantrums during a very long and painful bedtime process. As Matt and John were trying to watch the Caps playoff game tonight, she kept repeating how she wanted her mittens. Over and over and over and over... No limit of explanation that it was April, not mitten weather, if she's cold she could use a blanket, etc, etc, etc. was good enough for her. She needed her damn mittens. Then, later, she insisted on having socks to sleep in. I gave her instructions for how to get her socks (by first brushing her teeth), and after much misery and non-compliance, I told her she was done, had lost her chance, and then the bawling really began. She just couldn't get it. There was lots of crying and screaming.
So it was a late, long night for my dear daughter. She's going to be tired tomorrow. There's preschool in the morning, then lunch and nap/quiet time, then playtime, early dinner, and t-ball practice right up until the kids' bedtime. It could be a busy, good day or it could be a long, painful day for us all. We'll see how it goes. But I figure it's a good idea to get my apology out ahead of the ugliness. It's one thing to have your kid take out their anger/frustration on you, but it's another thing entirely for them to take it out on the schoolmates or teacher.
I'm really sorry Mrs. Kelleher. I'm trying, really hard. But in the end, I'm just really sorry.
4.16.2010
A Week is a LONG Time
Well, we've come out on the other side of Matt's annual conference trip and we all managed to survive. Matt was in San Jose, CA for a full 8 days (well, 6 days really, with 2 travel days), returning to Virginia on Wednesday of this week. He's still a little jet-lagged and overall exhausted from his trip, but he's here and we were all very happy to see him. The kids and I managed to survive the week with a few minor skirmishes along the way, but nothing too major, which was pleasant. We stayed VERY busy and apparently that was the key.
We had playgroup, a preschool puppet show, t-ball meeting and first practice, lots of time at the neighborhood playground, a barbecue at a neighbor's house, t-ball parade/picnic/and another practice, picnic at Lake Fairfax, a few errands, more playground time, cleaning the house a bit, more playgroup, a vision screening, and even a movie night thrown in for good measure. We had one more t-ball practice cancelled due to rain, so we went with some good friends to hit the kids' night at the local Silver Diner - included a kids' movie and crafts, which my kids loved since they'd never been to Silver Diner before. All in all, the week was good. Kara napped most days, John's usual short-day Monday was extended to a full day as it was a snow make-up day, which I was just fine with this particular week. I even squeezed in a couple of walks and a pedicure! We had all the usual bumps in the road that you have when you're being a single parent for days on end, but we managed to get through it and even enjoyed most of it.
Now I do fully admit to coming out the end of it being completely exhausted, but there's no time now to rest. We are now to the point of needing to get moving on more decisions on the kitchen project. I had no idea how many decisions there would be with this project! Wow! I'm trying not to get too overwhelmed, but my goodness. We've got our basic design down. Have the fridge picked out. Know pretty much what we want for the sink, dishwasher, cooktop, and oven/microwave. I sat down last night and figured out where most of our kitchen stuff will live in the new space, which a good friend of mine (who has a background in kitchen/bathroom design) strongly recommended that I do (thank you Alexandra!). And it was so very helpful to go through that exercise. I now have a much better idea of what pull-out options I need, and what other features make sense for us, and what we just don't have the room for. It made me feel much better about it all. But now we need to move forward on making some appliance purchases (yikes) so we have time to get them ordered, if needed, for our June target date. It's amazing to me that we're actually heading forward with this project, a little overwhelming, a little anxiety-inducing, and A LOT exciting. It's going to be a huge improvement and we're going to love the final product, getting there is another story, but I'm keeping the end result in sight, and we'll get through. ;-)
Just like this last week with Matt gone, we got through that, and we'll get through June and then we'll be able to breathe a sigh of relief...until the next big hurdle! Well, the hurdles hopefully will be a bit smaller than the major kitchen remodel, but you get the point.
We had playgroup, a preschool puppet show, t-ball meeting and first practice, lots of time at the neighborhood playground, a barbecue at a neighbor's house, t-ball parade/picnic/and another practice, picnic at Lake Fairfax, a few errands, more playground time, cleaning the house a bit, more playgroup, a vision screening, and even a movie night thrown in for good measure. We had one more t-ball practice cancelled due to rain, so we went with some good friends to hit the kids' night at the local Silver Diner - included a kids' movie and crafts, which my kids loved since they'd never been to Silver Diner before. All in all, the week was good. Kara napped most days, John's usual short-day Monday was extended to a full day as it was a snow make-up day, which I was just fine with this particular week. I even squeezed in a couple of walks and a pedicure! We had all the usual bumps in the road that you have when you're being a single parent for days on end, but we managed to get through it and even enjoyed most of it.
Now I do fully admit to coming out the end of it being completely exhausted, but there's no time now to rest. We are now to the point of needing to get moving on more decisions on the kitchen project. I had no idea how many decisions there would be with this project! Wow! I'm trying not to get too overwhelmed, but my goodness. We've got our basic design down. Have the fridge picked out. Know pretty much what we want for the sink, dishwasher, cooktop, and oven/microwave. I sat down last night and figured out where most of our kitchen stuff will live in the new space, which a good friend of mine (who has a background in kitchen/bathroom design) strongly recommended that I do (thank you Alexandra!). And it was so very helpful to go through that exercise. I now have a much better idea of what pull-out options I need, and what other features make sense for us, and what we just don't have the room for. It made me feel much better about it all. But now we need to move forward on making some appliance purchases (yikes) so we have time to get them ordered, if needed, for our June target date. It's amazing to me that we're actually heading forward with this project, a little overwhelming, a little anxiety-inducing, and A LOT exciting. It's going to be a huge improvement and we're going to love the final product, getting there is another story, but I'm keeping the end result in sight, and we'll get through. ;-)
Just like this last week with Matt gone, we got through that, and we'll get through June and then we'll be able to breathe a sigh of relief...until the next big hurdle! Well, the hurdles hopefully will be a bit smaller than the major kitchen remodel, but you get the point.
3.12.2010
Makes me wonder
Sometimes life throws curve balls at us. Sometimes we see them coming and can prepare, other times we get hit blindsided. I've been hit blindsided a few times myself and know others that have had it happen recently. Sometimes it's easier when we can't prepare, so we don't get anxious or nervous. In watching some friends go through some ridiculously awful things, I'm amazed at how different people manage their lives and how the instinct for basic survival can take over and power us through it all.
It takes strength, courage, love, confidence, support, and a never ending supply of patience to get through things that we think will break us. We've all faced tough times, some worse than others. Reaching out for support from those around us is critical. It often feels easier to curl up in a ball and try to forget the rest of the world exists than to face the problems. And sometimes we really need to do that for a bit, allow ourselves to grieve, mourn, release the sadness before it consumes us. But then, life requires us to unfold from the ball, stand up and figure out how to move forward.
I recently read a book written by John Edwards' wife, maybe a year or two ago. I knew a little bit about her, that she had battled cancer and that her husband has chosen infidelity in a painfully public way. But I didn't know that they also had a son who was killed in a fluke car accident at the age of 16. Her cancer was in remission and has spread (at least at the time she wrote this particular book). Her marriage, which had been her rock, was irreversibly shaken. She thought she could count on him, but it turned out she had to figure out a new way to live, to find new reasons to face each day and make them count. She's done that with her life.
The book describes the path that Elizabeth Edwards took to find meaning in each day. She details her own journey and recognizes that each person needs to find their own path through the rough patches of life. No one way will work for everyone. The important part is to pick up, decide that life is worth living, and find a way that will work for you.
Of course, this is easier said than done. I know that. Life is hard and filled with potholes, but it's also good and filled with joys. I try to remember that on my own dark days, and to provide the support others around me need as they navigate their journeys. The road of life is bumpy, but it is filled with love and joy too. People are resilient and strong, as long as they're willing to let themselves be.
It takes strength, courage, love, confidence, support, and a never ending supply of patience to get through things that we think will break us. We've all faced tough times, some worse than others. Reaching out for support from those around us is critical. It often feels easier to curl up in a ball and try to forget the rest of the world exists than to face the problems. And sometimes we really need to do that for a bit, allow ourselves to grieve, mourn, release the sadness before it consumes us. But then, life requires us to unfold from the ball, stand up and figure out how to move forward.
I recently read a book written by John Edwards' wife, maybe a year or two ago. I knew a little bit about her, that she had battled cancer and that her husband has chosen infidelity in a painfully public way. But I didn't know that they also had a son who was killed in a fluke car accident at the age of 16. Her cancer was in remission and has spread (at least at the time she wrote this particular book). Her marriage, which had been her rock, was irreversibly shaken. She thought she could count on him, but it turned out she had to figure out a new way to live, to find new reasons to face each day and make them count. She's done that with her life.
The book describes the path that Elizabeth Edwards took to find meaning in each day. She details her own journey and recognizes that each person needs to find their own path through the rough patches of life. No one way will work for everyone. The important part is to pick up, decide that life is worth living, and find a way that will work for you.
Of course, this is easier said than done. I know that. Life is hard and filled with potholes, but it's also good and filled with joys. I try to remember that on my own dark days, and to provide the support others around me need as they navigate their journeys. The road of life is bumpy, but it is filled with love and joy too. People are resilient and strong, as long as they're willing to let themselves be.
3.11.2010
A Few Updates
Life, as usual, has been busy, to say the least. I'm coming (slowly) to accept that the pace of our daily lives is much faster than I'm used to. Even our "down" days seem to fill up quickly with impromptu playdates, errands, and many other random, but wonderful, activities. I spend a lot of time feeling harried and rushed, but I'm trying to remind myself that it simply means that our lives are full and rich with loved ones and fun times.
The kids are growing and changing daily, which always surprises me. You'd think by now I'd be used to it, but they still bring new joys and challenges every day. John's more than halfway through kindergarten, doing swimming classes, tae kwon do (after a bumpy start, he's finally enjoying it), and about to start t-ball this spring. I'm loving listening to him read to me or to Kara and seeing the pride it brings him. He's a great guy. And Kara is my little bundle of personality - the good and the challenging! She's very funny and enjoys life in ways that are completely different from John. They get along so well, I find it wonderful and curious at the same time. I hope that doesn't change too much as they grow older.
We are also in the throws of contemplating and planning for a kitchen remodeling project. With any luck, we'll be without a kitchen for the month of June and by mid-summer will have a drastically improved kitchen to love and enjoy. We'll see if we can retain some sanity and get through the process!
This week I have added to my regimen of medications and a new doctor to add to my growing list of contacts. With the beautiful weather we've had this week, my allergies decided to knock me on my butt. I was in complete misery! I couldn't believe that it could feel so bad. It didn't take much to convince me to go see an allergist, as soon as possible. So, I did. Thank goodness. I had a very interesting visit, during which a set of allergy medications was given to me along with a diagnosis of asthma and medication to deal with that as well. I've never been diagnosed with asthma, and I'm not sure why it's bothering me so much. Over the last few days, I've thought about it a lot, and I can think of lots of symptoms that I just ignored or neglected that clearly indicate I've had asthma symptoms since high school, at least. But I'm still not ready for the label of "asthmatic." I know my case is mild compared to many, but I also think it's probably worse than I am ready to acknowledge. I feel like I've got enough medical labels for someone in their mid-30's and I'm not ready to add another one. And I KNOW that doesn't change anything and my ability to acknowledge it has no bearing on the actual problem. I am taking the medication that was prescribed to me, but still am not quite ready to fully embrace the diagnosis. But I am breathing better now!
This too shall be faced and dealt with, I know. Along with all the other challenges we have in our lives. Right?
Life is good, busy, crazy, and wild, but GOOD.
The kids are growing and changing daily, which always surprises me. You'd think by now I'd be used to it, but they still bring new joys and challenges every day. John's more than halfway through kindergarten, doing swimming classes, tae kwon do (after a bumpy start, he's finally enjoying it), and about to start t-ball this spring. I'm loving listening to him read to me or to Kara and seeing the pride it brings him. He's a great guy. And Kara is my little bundle of personality - the good and the challenging! She's very funny and enjoys life in ways that are completely different from John. They get along so well, I find it wonderful and curious at the same time. I hope that doesn't change too much as they grow older.
We are also in the throws of contemplating and planning for a kitchen remodeling project. With any luck, we'll be without a kitchen for the month of June and by mid-summer will have a drastically improved kitchen to love and enjoy. We'll see if we can retain some sanity and get through the process!
This week I have added to my regimen of medications and a new doctor to add to my growing list of contacts. With the beautiful weather we've had this week, my allergies decided to knock me on my butt. I was in complete misery! I couldn't believe that it could feel so bad. It didn't take much to convince me to go see an allergist, as soon as possible. So, I did. Thank goodness. I had a very interesting visit, during which a set of allergy medications was given to me along with a diagnosis of asthma and medication to deal with that as well. I've never been diagnosed with asthma, and I'm not sure why it's bothering me so much. Over the last few days, I've thought about it a lot, and I can think of lots of symptoms that I just ignored or neglected that clearly indicate I've had asthma symptoms since high school, at least. But I'm still not ready for the label of "asthmatic." I know my case is mild compared to many, but I also think it's probably worse than I am ready to acknowledge. I feel like I've got enough medical labels for someone in their mid-30's and I'm not ready to add another one. And I KNOW that doesn't change anything and my ability to acknowledge it has no bearing on the actual problem. I am taking the medication that was prescribed to me, but still am not quite ready to fully embrace the diagnosis. But I am breathing better now!
This too shall be faced and dealt with, I know. Along with all the other challenges we have in our lives. Right?
Life is good, busy, crazy, and wild, but GOOD.
Thankful Thursday!
I'm baaaaaccck! :-) Well, I'm intending to be back. So, since it's Thursday, and at one point in time, quite awhile ago, I was doing thankful lists on Thursdays, I thought I'd start with that.
Today, I'm thankful for:
1. GREAT new allergy medication (that's finally working after a long week of misery)
2. a fun morning with Kara's preschool class on their first field trip
3. some amazing mom friends that I adore
4. having the energy to finish a project I've been procrastinating on for a month
5. the 3-hour nap that Kara took today
6. the bright future ahead
7. the warm sun of the past few days and the time to get out and enjoy it
8. the upcoming visit from my sister-in-law
9. the ability to possibly see our kitchen dreams come true and
10. my kids, husband, family, and friends, without whom I couldn't survive.
More to say in a separate post, I'm going to leave this as just being thankful!
Today, I'm thankful for:
1. GREAT new allergy medication (that's finally working after a long week of misery)
2. a fun morning with Kara's preschool class on their first field trip
3. some amazing mom friends that I adore
4. having the energy to finish a project I've been procrastinating on for a month
5. the 3-hour nap that Kara took today
6. the bright future ahead
7. the warm sun of the past few days and the time to get out and enjoy it
8. the upcoming visit from my sister-in-law
9. the ability to possibly see our kitchen dreams come true and
10. my kids, husband, family, and friends, without whom I couldn't survive.
More to say in a separate post, I'm going to leave this as just being thankful!
1.31.2010
To Dream....
We've spent our weekend having some good family fun, being very productive and dreaming, a bit. It snowed here over the weekend, somewhat unexpectedly, so we definitely had some fun snow play time. After all the snow in December, I got myself new snow pants, a new coat, and new snow boots (thanks Mom and Dad for the early birthday gift), and then I was convinced our winter snow season was over. Fortunately, I was wrong. And I got a chance to test out all my new gear before our upcoming snow tubing trip - and it was great! I was dry and warm and happy in my new gear. Happy Mommy, for sure!
Most of the rest of the weekend was spent working indoors on tearing apart and repairing Kara's closet in preparation for her new closet system, which the kids and I are going to pick up on Monday morning. Kara got to take naps in our bed and even slept on our floor one night - which she delighted in and John was very jealous of.
The other event of the weekend was our first meeting with a contractor to talk about the kitchen remodeling project. A close friend of mine gave us a referral for her contractor and we met with him this morning. The meeting went very well and he shared some ideas with us and we are looking forward to seeing the proposal he works up for us. But for now, it is still dreaming. We have some other research-type work to do before we decide exactly which path we're going to take on this HUGE project, so there's still a lot of steps before the dreaming becomes a bit of reality. I'm hoping we can make it happen in the early part of the summer when our schedule is light and we can have lots of picnics and pool-side meals. Time will tell, but there's a lot of dreaming and a lot of optimism.
Most of the rest of the weekend was spent working indoors on tearing apart and repairing Kara's closet in preparation for her new closet system, which the kids and I are going to pick up on Monday morning. Kara got to take naps in our bed and even slept on our floor one night - which she delighted in and John was very jealous of.
The other event of the weekend was our first meeting with a contractor to talk about the kitchen remodeling project. A close friend of mine gave us a referral for her contractor and we met with him this morning. The meeting went very well and he shared some ideas with us and we are looking forward to seeing the proposal he works up for us. But for now, it is still dreaming. We have some other research-type work to do before we decide exactly which path we're going to take on this HUGE project, so there's still a lot of steps before the dreaming becomes a bit of reality. I'm hoping we can make it happen in the early part of the summer when our schedule is light and we can have lots of picnics and pool-side meals. Time will tell, but there's a lot of dreaming and a lot of optimism.
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